Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Season(s) of a year or life (01/13/11)

TITLE: Not a sparrow falls
By
01/16/11


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Walking past the dining room window, picking up the dinner plates and attending to the voices in the other room, Misty glanced behind her to see a hummingbird perched on the shepherd’s hook. The sky was dark. A storm was fast approaching and she began to wonder why the bird was patiently settled for what seemed to be a wicked downpour.

Pulling back the sheers, slowly as to not startle the bird, Misty’s eyes focused. The bird sat for what seemed minutes. The drops began to fall. “What possibly could that bird be thinking?”. Thoughts ran through her head but nothing seemed to make sense.


Several months earlier, Misty had finished the project to find people in the community to create a backyard garden for butterflies and birds. She took the job with the hopes of enjoying her work more than she ever had before, but she was not ready for the challenge God would place in her hands. The CEO was dying of cancer. Misty didn’t know this initially, so it certainly came as huge surprise one Tuesday morning.

Jacie walked past her desk with a limp. It was a limp that couldn’t be ignored, so Misty turned in her chair and inquired “Feeling ok?”

“Oh, this leg. I’ve been struggling for some time. “ she responded, giving Misty the idea that she didn’t want to explore the question any longer. When her boss had left for the day, she turned to Jacie’s admin assistant and continued her earlier discussion about Jacie’s leg.

“You don’t know?” Amber continued to type up her memo. It was 4:45 and she needed to pick up her granddaughter from preschool by 5:00. She really didn’t have time to talk, but could see Misty needed to know the whole story or it would probably bother the poor lady until tomorrow. She clicked send, continued to shut down her computer, and began to grab her coat.

“Jacie has breast cancer. As long as I’ve known her, which has been as long as I’ve worked here, she has been in and out of chemotherapy. That would be five years now.” She put the scarf around her face, the wind was blowing up the freshly fallen snow outside. “I just can’t believe that Jacie didn’t explain her situation to you. The cancer has rapidly spread these past few months and the doctors are not very encouraged. It may be months you know.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be here tomorrow. Maybe we could talk more?” Misty drew quiet. She watched as Amber scraped her car windows and waited for the windows to defrost before pulling out into the heavy traffic.


The music blared in Misty’s car. Misty was alone with God so she could decide the station. “Life is Hard” was playing and Misty turned it up a notch. As she listened she felt God nudge her to share the song, and her faith, with Jacie, even though she had only been at The Wild Federation for two months. She let the scenario play around in her head until she reached the office.

Amber and Jacie had already arrived. Misty rearranged her desk and got a cup of coffee. She stood in the doorway and saw that Jacie had her head down on her desk. She could feel the nudge of the Lord in her heart as she quietly took up the seat in front Jacie.

“I know what’s wrong. Can we talk?” Misty reached out her hands.


“Carl. I think something is wrong with Jacie. I need to call hospice and find out.” Misty found her cell phone in her purse and listened as it rang. Finally the front desk picked up.

“St. Anne’s Hospice. “ the receptionist sounded young.

“Yes. I would like to talk with Jacie, Room 18 please.”

“Oh, I guess you haven’t heard. She is not taking visitors. She is expected to go any day now. Her husband and son are in the room with her and they haven’t left since Tuesday. She has only opened her eyes once or twice in the past week.” Silence fell like fresh snow, only it was raining so hard that Misty began to think of that poor hummingbird in the rain storm.

“Thanks.” The click was deafening and when she went to see if the bird was still there, she saw it had fallen off its perch and lay drenched under the butterfly bush. Jacie had lived a long life. She was in God’s arms now.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 258 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Bonnie Bowden01/20/11
I really enjoyed your descriptive phrases and your symbolism.
I was slightly confused between the paragraph with knowing something was wrong with Jacie at the office and then calling hospice.

Keep up the good work.
Brenda Rice 01/20/11
I got a little lost about the time I thought everyone was back at work and then someone was calling hospice. Probably just me. A tender story that reminds me to share Jesus every time you have a chance. Thanks for sharing.
diana kay01/21/11
there is lots of great material in here and it is a powerful story.I too got a little lost in the chronology as you moved from one scene to another which was clear in your mind but not so easy for the reader (well me at least)
when you went from scraping the car at the end of the day and on to the driving back to work you could have maybe placed some spacer marks to indicate the space in the story
--------------
or put >The next day/A few days later
similarly when you moved from the collapse of the CEO and then the hospice.
I hope these comments are helpful feedback. look forward to reading more