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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Once in a Blue Moon (01/06/11)

TITLE: A Love of my Own
By Charlotte Seymour
01/13/11


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A woman stands frozen in a moment of time. She is lost in thought as she stares out her picture window. The suns last rays were fading, casting a bluish lavender hue across the fresh blanket of snow covering the yard outside. An enormous full moon imbued with a bluish tinge is cresting the smoke gray horizon. As the moon began inching its way into a crystal clear midnight blue sky, pine trees were illumined with branches bowed low under their heavy burden of snow. It looked very cold outside and the woman shivered involuntarily. Slowly, she raised a hot cup of apple cider and gingerly sipped the hot liquid.
Tears filled the woman’s eyes threatening to spill over red rimmed puffy eyelids. With a heavy sigh she murmurs to herself “Now, what will I do?” Another glance around the frigid landscape outside, the woman turns and walks over to a rocking chair in front of a blazing fire place. Snuggling into a comfortable position she is once again lost in thought staring into the roaring fire.
“I remember seeing a gigantic moon like tonight a very long time ago.” Where was that? Oh, yeah, I remember… it was one summer on a family camping trip. My girlfriend and I had slipped away after supper to go for a walk down by the lake shore. We had both stood mesmerized by that huge harvest moon equally captivated and enchanted watching the moonbeams dancing across the ripples on the lake. The pungent smell of pine and smoke had wafted in the crisp night air. And, I remember wondering staring at that moon if the man I would marry someday was also looking at the same moon that night.”
Another deep sigh, the woman struggled trying to chock back another outburst of sobs. “Enough of that” the woman chided herself.
Later that night the woman put on her nightgown and climbed into bed. Sleep didn’t come for a very long time as the woman stared at the ceiling. Suddenly… she saw the man she loved open the back door and walk into the kitchen. He was covered with snow. Stomping his boots on the door mat, he quickly removed his coat and boots. Grinning, he walked toward her. She walked into his open arms and buried her face in his heavy wool shirt. He wrapped his arms around her holding her close nuzzling her hair. She wiggled free from his embrace demanding to know, “Where have you been?” Startled, the woman sat straight up in bed looking wildly around her bedroom. A frantic glance…her eyes fell on the empty space beside her. Hours later the woman still clutching a tear soaked pillow drifted off to a dreamless sleep of exhaustion.
The following morning over breakfast the woman shared her dream with her daughter from the night before.
“I never expected to find someone like your daddy. He was always very good to me. Every husband and wife goes through their ups and downs but in the end it is very rare to find someone who becomes your soul mate. It is a once in a blue moon experience.”
The woman’s daughter nodded her head acknowledging her mother’s aching heart before responding,
“Mom, I know you will miss daddy the rest of your life. I was blessed to have parents that loved each other. I can remember how secure it made me feel knowing my mom and dad loved each other. What’s even more special to me…the knowledge that both you and daddy accepted that Jesus Christ as the Son of God died for our sins and as a result our whole family will one day be rejoicing in heaven. The Word of God says, “That whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:15 NKJ) We’ll see daddy again one day, that is our hope and…that is the true once in a blue moon fact!


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This article has been read 221 times
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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/13/11
This is a lovely story. It's true that a romance like that doesn't come along everyday.You did an outstanding job with the details.

I don't think you actually needed to say a love like that only comes once in a blue mom because you have already shown the reader that with the wonderful was and actions of your MC. Try double spacing between paragraphs to give the reader more white space.

Keep writing those lovely stories that can't help but to captivate the reader.
diana kay01/14/11
there are some lovely descriptions in this story. I would have liked you to give your characters names rather than just being "a woman" and "her daughter" and Mom etc. i think that this would have brought them even more to life
Verna Mull01/15/11
This was very well written. I agree, however that a few spaces would help the reading.
Lillian Rhoades 01/15/11
Sad, poignant story. I agree. It was a little difficult to connect to your characters because they were nameless. In most cases, the word "had" wasn't necessary. Don't forget to check for missing commas, etc.

Lots of creative, descriptive writing in the beginning, but fell short towards the end.