The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/13/11
wow! i really don't think you are going to be in the beginners for long! This piece had everything in it and you managed the story beautifully, the relationship between dad and child, the dialogue the description, the blue moon, the Christian message, what could they possibly mark you down on??
still there seem to be lots of great pieces at this level this week.
i really feel that you enjoyed writing this!
01/15/11
This was very well written. A beautiful story of love.
01/15/11
Fabulous work! I felt like I was right there in the room with the father and son. Very professionally done and well-written!
01/15/11
You had all the right ingredients for a great story, and you wrote it with style, realistic dialogue and added a great title.

" 'Mumbled into the Teddy Bear. Can Mommy see the Moon up there?'" When I read the above, my heart did a palpable flip. What an unexpected and powerful lead into the rest of the story. That so accurately describes how young children communicate when dealing with tragic events. So well done!
This is excellent. Your flow is easy and natural; you pulled us in and made us care about your characters. The ending is good, almost bitter-sweet, though sincere. You’ll be moving up soon.