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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Once in a Blue Moon (01/06/11)

TITLE: A Ride of a Lifetime
By Nichole Hall


He felt the blood sliding down his cheek. The warm tickle flowed freely. He swiped his face clean with the back of his hand. He stumbled through the thick growth of trees and underbrush until he came to the edge of the forest. He peered out through the clearing and saw a sight he’d only dreamed of. A battlefield littered with bodies. Two hills separated by a valley. Two forces mounting for the next battle. It wasn’t death that attracted him, but the sacrifice and faith of those of his past. His eyes followed the champion of giants wielding battle gear that only a Philistine could wear. “On this day, I challenge Isreal. Who will come out and fight me?”

He scanned the crowd waiting for David to appear. It was a story he knew like the back of his hand. How many times had he’d dreamed of seeing this with his own eyes? But how had he gotten here? He remembered reading the book. The whistle of the wind and the thunder of rain justified the crackling of the fire. He’d used real wood rather than the gas igniter and the smell of burning wood had flooded his senses. He’d settled down to read and his favorite story kept his mind from the storm raging outside his window. He remembered the sound of lightening and wishing he could see the story unfold with his own eyes. Is that how it had happened? The strike of lightening with his single wish? His mind screamed that this was ridiculous, but his spirit knew all things were possible with God.

Then he remembered running. Felt the sting of the branches. Fear pushed him to run and that must have been how his face had been beaten up. But how would he get home? There was no storm here to take him back. He glanced back at the battle scene and the absence of David surprised him. Where was he? This was his shining moment. David was a man of courage, a warrior who never turned from a fight. He propped up against a tree, eager to see the appearance of the hero. He put his hands in his pockets more out of habit than needing to warm them. He felt around, pulled out his right hand and in his palm laid five smooth stones. Out of his left pocket came the sling. It was only then that he paid attention to his attire. He wore the clothes of a shepherd boy and sandals on his feet. And he knew what had to be done for him to get home.

He gathered his courage and marched out onto the field with only the stones in his pocket, his slingshot and the clothes on his back. Sweat dripped from his forehead and fell off the end of his nose. Even knowing the outcome did not prevent his fear of death from becoming real. Goliath stepped forward and laughed. “Am I a dog that you come at me with sticks?”

He replied, “You come at me with the weapons of a warrior and I come at you in the name of the Lord! I will strike you down and cut off your head and the whole world will know of the God of Isreal.” And before Goliath could lift his sword, as David’s had his feet carried him to the battle line as the stone flew in the air and slammed into the giant’s forehead. The giant fell. And He ran to the Philistine, drew out the sword and cut off his head like that of a warrior.

The cries of joy from the Israelites faded as the scene shifted around him. He was once again sitting by the fire and smelled the burning of wood. The Bible lay open in his lap to the story of David. With unbelief, he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. His vision cleared and he gazed out the window at the raging storm. He quickly flipped to the book of Exodus hoping to catch a ride on another bolt of lightning.

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This article has been read 336 times
Member Comments
Member Date
diana kay01/13/11
clever story :-) time travel and then finding YOU are the main character in the historical action, would make a great boys adventure story.
Patsy Hallum01/13/11
Great imagination! There was one sentence I couldn't understand...as David's had his feet carried him.. I guess its just me! I envy your putting yourself as MC.
Lillian Rhoades 01/15/11
A very imaginative story which took some imagination to read, including the last line. At times, I was somewhat puzzled between the narrative and the MC. It almost seemed David was having an "out-of body experience. Perhaps, I've stumbled on to what the story was all about. Though I was sometimes a bit confused, I do think you did a great job with descriptive, suspense-filled writing.
Kara Dunham 01/17/11
I really liked the story- and the creative approach. The story flowed nicely and kept me intrigued. Nice work
Edmond Ng 01/19/11
An interesting and enjoyable read! I've always enjoyed sci-fi and you have mixed your story in this genre with a scriptural event very well. Just add the imaginary with creativity like what you have in this story, and be careful with the spelling like 'Israel' in whatever you are writing, and you'll be on your way to good success.
Debra Hindman04/17/11
Captivating! Thank you!