The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 338 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/13/11
I really want to know what's in that letter!!! Did I totally miss who it was from?!

I liked how you used small details to bring attention the piece. The clicking of the shoes, the red lipstick...etc.

It seemed to me that you've only given us a glimpse as to what is really going on in this relationship. The way you described their body language and hesitant dialogue made me think they didn't get along very well. And maybe somehow this letter would either bring them together or tear them apart. Not sure if that's what you meant, but that's what I got from it :)
01/13/11
I think I made up the 'red' lipstick, but that's what I pictured...so I went with it. Sorry!
01/13/11
You draw the kind of word pictures that really tug at the heart. The fact he brought her flowers at the end made me want to cry.
I love the message behind it.
How true that those blue moon times shine the brightest in our times of greatest fear - or sorrow - or whatever feelings provoked by the sight of that letter.
01/13/11
ur title suggests you wanted the reader to focus on Reg's 'once in a blue moon" gift (sorry if'm wrong).

Instead, I was forced to focus on what Reg said at the end. "Let's open that letter." Leaving the reader in suspense works well sometimes, but I'm not sure in this case. There were two themes here - the gift and the letter. Which one was the take away "power point?"

Loved your descriptive writing and realistic dialogue.
01/13/11
Let's do this again.:-)


Your title suggests you wanted the reader to focus on Reg's "once in a blue moon" gift (sorry if I'm wrong).

Instead, I was forced to focus on what Reg said at the end. "Let's open that letter." Leaving the reader in suspense works well sometimes, but I'm not sure in this case. There were two themes here - the gift and the letter. Which one was the take away "power point?"
01/15/11
This left me with a lot of questions, which has some merit too, I guess. I'd have liked a little more information of just what was going on.