The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/23/10
You have a nice message here and I enjoyed reading what you had to say.

One suggestion as you seek to hone the craft: Put white spaces between thoughts. It just makes it easier for the reader to follow your thoughts. And what you have to say is good, so you don't want to lose readers as they attempt to follow your words!

Keep writing!
12/25/10
Thanks for sharing. As someone already suggested use spacing between paragraphs for easier reading. Merry Christmas
You wrote so many beautiful thoughts and sentiments. It really helped me so relate to your me.

A little red ink, ellipses should only have three dots. Also make sure if you have a plural subject that you use the plural form of the verb ex has VS have


your piece is a strong one and it
Overall
Sorry I hit the submit button too soon You did a great job pulling so many emotions from my heart.

God has definitely given you something important to say. Keep writing, you're doing a great job!
12/26/10
I loved the title it made me straight away feel drawn to this piece and there is some lovely lovely descriptive writing in here.
the theme too seems to come from your heart and ring true. There are a few editorial improvements in spelling and so on that will come as you come to do the challenge regularly I am sure.Your writing feels like an uncut diamond at the moment..... full of promise and beauty.
looking forward to seeing more :-)
I enjoyed the vivid thoughts and freeform prose of this piece. You have a poet's feel for words.

Keep writing and and you be rewarded.