The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/20/10
What a journey! Thank you for sharing this.

There are a few places you switch from present tense to past tense. A good read-through can help with that.

Amazing what God can do, isn't it?
12/21/10
Interesting! A little dialogue would help the reader relate to the characters better. I love your ending.
12/21/10
You are so good with putting images in your readers mind. I was totally taken-up with Shane's journey. Your ending shines!