The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I would have liked to see a bit more of a story. Keep writing. I would love to see your next submission.

LUIC
12/19/10
Clever and creative. I could hear his tone of voice. I also would have liked more detail, but I did enjoy what was here :) Thanks!
Your descriptions drew me in, but I too wanted more. Keep writing!
12/22/10
I'm not positive what you wanted to convey. It seemed that Donna needed a temperament adjustment as badly as Paul needed God's help with the language. Interesting none the less.