The sign over my kitchen door asks, ‘Have you prayed about it?’. I put it there thinking that I’d never again walk out of the house without handing everything over to the Lord - trusting Him with everything. It’s funny how when you see something all the time you stop seeing it.
A loud clatter broke the silence in the waiting room. Startled, I looked up to see a nurse gathering rumpled pages from the floor and reassembling them on a clipboard. I felt lousy and was annoyed to think that it might have been my chart she’d dropped..
“Alison Williams?” she called.
With resignation I trudged over to the nurse thinking ‘So it was my chart.’
In the exam room, the nurse ‘Toni’ according to her badge, took some vital signs and asked several questions. Then she actually asked the stereotypical, “Have we had our flu shot?” and I couldn’t contain my sarcasm.
“I don’t know about you, but I had mine,” I answered grouchily.
As she wrote on my chart, I stared out the window and I thought about events leading up to this visit. For a couple of weeks now my throat and chest had been very tight and sore. Breathing was a tiring effort and I didn’t expect to ever feel better. I was very discouraged.
Yesterday I had sat at my friend Lorna’s table and she had gently reprimanded me for my words.
“I’m so tired of feeling like this,” I’d complained. “I’d be ok if the Lord just wanted to take me now.”
“Please don’t talk like that,” Lorna had quieted me.
“But I’ve had enough, what’s the use?” I’d moaned.
“Have you prayed about it?” Lorna had asked.
That should have rung a bell with me, but all I said was, “The Lord doesn’t heal everyone. I don’t think...”
“Ali, you need to be careful of what you say. Words can make or break our faith. Remember Romans 10:17 says ‘so then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.’ And remember that Jesus healed everyone who asked Him. He never said no.”
Startling me back to the present, Nurse Toni was saying, “The doctor will be in soon.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, realizing I owed her an apology. “I don’t mean to be sarcastic.”
“It’s alright, I’ve heard much worse. I know you don’t feel well.” Toni answered kindly.
For whatever reason, maybe because her words validated my right to be there, my attitude toward her softened and I wanted to cry...again.
It was at Lorna’s yesterday when I’d cried last. As she had spoken to me about faith and healing my eyes had glassed over. A large, hot tear had poured down my cheek and was followed by many others. She’d come and sat in the chair adjacent to me, covered my hands with hers and looked me in the eyes.
“Let me pray for you,” she’d said.
I had sniffed and managed a nod. How loved she had made me feel.
“Oh Lord, Ali is in need of comfort, faith and healing of her body and soul.
She loves you and desires to be well. Please cover her with your healing hands.
Help her to remember that just as we humans want our children to be well, so
much more do you want us, your children, to be well. We thank you now for all
you’re going to do in Ali’s life. In Jesus holy name we ask and trust. Amen.”
Now I waited for the doctor and studied the poster on the wall. It depicted lungs and many of their maladies. I noticed that the symptoms I was experiencing didn’t match those listed for the condition my chest x-ray had suggested.
When Dr. Levinson arrived, he was so patient. He studied my test results and listened to me. He talked about my situation, suggested a treatment plan and was very optimistic.
“Any questions?” he asked.
“What about my c___?” I asked.
He was respectfully upbeat as he answered. “You don’t have c___. Do you have asthma? Yes, but c___, no. Your x-ray shouldn’t have been interpreted that way. That was only one possibility, and you don’t have it.”
Praise the Lord!!!!!, He does great things!
Now as I look at that sign above my kitchen door I exclaim, “Lord, as long as there is a breath in my body, let me never stop praying! Thank you!”
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