The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 387 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/03/10
some spacing and division into paragraphs would make it easier to read this otherwise excellent piece.
This is a wonderful essay with some great advice. It is so important to really stop and listen to a person no matter who the person is. It can be easy to avoid noticing the little things especially among those you love the most.

Here's just a little advice to make your piece even better. Try breaking it into several smaller paragraphs and then double space between paragraphs to create more white space. Another thing is you have a few incomplete sentences that can easily be fixed by changing the word missing to I miss. There were a few times were taking the ing off will make it a verb instead of a gerund.

You did an excellent job with the topic and this was a difficult topic this week. You also related to the reader by telling your own personal story and allowed the reader to insert their own life into your example. Great job overall. Keep writing I enjoy reading your work.
12/07/10
No need for me to repeat the advice given already on how you can improve on your writing. You did however give a serious warning on the subject, especially as you have had personal experience in this matter. You provided interesting reading in an important area.
12/08/10
You are right on with your advice. Thanks for sharing this.