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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Body Language (11/25/10)
"Mom said you need to clean up your room before you go to bed!" Beth yelled.

Michelle's face went from a smile to a frown she sighed and said, "Okay."

Beth got an angry look on her face, "Michelle, don't get mad at me!"

Michelle slapped her hand on her leg, "Beth, I am not mad at you."

Beth walked over and got close to Michelle, "Yes, gave me a dirty look."

Michelle threw her books on the coffee table, "Beth, I just spent four hours of my evening studying, I am tired I want to go to bed."

"Michelle, just because you're tired does not give you the right to give me a dirty look."

"Beth, I did not give you a dirty look, if I gave you a dirty look it was not intentional!"

Beth started to cry, "You gave me a dirty look, why can't you say you're sorry? I am just the messenger."

"Beth, why should I say I am sorry for something I didn't do?"

"Michelle, are you saying to me that you didn't give me a dirty look?"

Michelle's eye's glared "Yes, I didn't."

"Michelle, you need to apologize."

Michelle walked into her bedroom and slammed the door.

*******************************

The next day after both girls came home from school. Michelle went to knock on Beth's door.

"Beth, I want to say I am sorry. I was mad last night, but not at you. I was at the library last night doing research for my biology paper. I was very tired; the last thing I wanted to do is clean my room. I didn't mean to give you a dirty look."

"Michelle, I would never intentionally be mean to you."

Michelle sighed, "I know, I was just tired last night."

"Michelle, every time I tell you something that Mom says you always give me a nasty look. You make me feel really hurt. I don't want to hurt you."

Michelle sat down on the chair next to Beth's bed and hung her head, "Beth, I am sorry I will try to work on that. It's hard because I don't think about my facial expressions."

Beth looked into Michelle's eyes, "I understand, but you have to try."

Michelle let out a deep breath, "I will."
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/02/10
You did a nice job showing what a sister might sound like and do during a squabble
Rachel Phelps
12/02/10
Good job describing a sisterly tiff. Be aware of how often you use a character's name in dialogue. Read it out loud and see if the repetition is necessary. If not, you can free up some words to add to your story! Fun idea.
Dolores Stohler 
12/05/10
Your story spoke to me. My husband has a poker face so I never know what he's thinking. That's not good. But my face is an open book for all to read--not good either. This challenge has caused me to think I need to work on my facial expressions so I express more joy and love, not anger, pain or sadness. Thanks for your message.
Brenda Rice
12/08/10
Interesting dialogue and just like sisters. I suggest you not begin each sentence with the person's name. Good job.