Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: On the Telephone (11/18/10)

TITLE: A Thanksgiving Call
By Rachel Dorsey
11/24/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The letter looked wrinkled and smudged in the fading afternoon light, yet to Maggie O’Brien: the letter was her only life-line. Dated 14th of June on the right corner with couple of crossed out scribbles where her son had most likely changed his mind and wrote over them.

Momma,

My troop is sure missing some new tidbits. I read my letters to a few of the guys here. Some of them don’t have a mother to write back home to. Hope you don’t mind me sharing some of the good stuff from back home. I think it makes them feel a bit at home out here in the hills and the desert. Riley E. devoured the tin of shortbread cookies down to the last crumb. Next time, make extra and I’d hide a few from the guys. Ha ha.

Morgan got hit a while back. Hit bad in the knee by a sniper. He’s being sent home this week. One of the best men I’ve come across. John Clyde got promoted to Sergeant. Afghanistan is pretty a rough place- never know which way to go. Still, I hear from my buddies who ended up here on second, third, even a fourth tour how difficult this war is. Some who did their tours before in Iraq. Still, I know I made the right choice to stay in. I owe to these men and women who had my back.

I know I promised this was gonna be the last time. My buddy, Keith has been talking about when his time is up in November around thanksgiving. I hope I can come see you guys soon. Tell Noelle and Alan, I miss them. I’m sure you will read this to Dad - Dad, forget the Redskins. My boys will win the Super bowl.

Momma- take care of yourself. Love ya.

Patrick


Maggie folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope hidden in the drawer of her writing desk. She murmured an I love you . Leaning back in her chair, she made a steeple with her fingers under her chin. Looking out the window.

“Honey, how many times have you read that letter today?” Dean, her husband spoke softly..

“I haven’t heard from him for so long lately. I keep reading this in hopes I find something new hidden in all of this.”

“Maggie-”

“It’s hearing his voice all over again.” She sighed before meeting his blue eyes full of sympathy.

“ I just close my eyes and see him as that little tow-headed toddler running into my arms.”

She felt Dean’s arms embrace her in a warm, enveloping hug and the smell of his Old Spice cologne as her security blanket. The two of them locked in an embrace that seemed to both of them, an eternity. Dean pulled back. He smiled at her with the heart-stopping O‘Brien grin. He tapped the calendar on the wall where she had circled November 25th with a big red-tipped pen.

“Don’t forget, the family are all coming in. Your sister called this morning. She’s gonna be late coming in with her kids from N.C. You know how she is. Don’t ask what she’s bringing for the potluck. She wouldn’t say what it was.”

“Probably some tofu dish.”

Maggie wrinkled her nose. Knowing her sister, Virginie, the mystery dish would consist of a new-fangled vegetable that no one could pronounce much less digest to their heart’s content. She glanced at her phone; several messages already from Miss Impatient. Too bad, Virginie was adept at texting whereas her culinary skills had left a lot to be desired.

“AVV.” Dean chuckled. He excused himself from her with a remark about picking up Grandma O’Brien at two p.m.

* * *

Maggie sighed in relief when Virginie and her two daughters tromped in, bags and all in the living room. They all chattered happily for a while, catching up on news, giggling like old times. She glanced at the clock. They jumped as the phone rang from the kitchen. Maggie hurried to grab the receiver. The number flashed red: 377-495-8934. Dean‘s cell.

“O‘Brien, where have you been?” She winced at the sharp tone.

She heard Dean mumble about getting something. A loud throaty Ahem greeted her ears.

“Momma?”

Gasping, she nearly dropped the phone in shock. She could make out Dean’s laugh in the background.

“Sweetheart!”

“Mom, I know this is on short notice . Do you think you can hand out an extra plate at the table tonight?”


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 252 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Mull 11/26/10
Very emotional story. I loved it. you do have talent
Yvonne Blake 11/27/10
Ahhh... almost as touching as a Hallmark commercial! I could see the whole thing.
Great job!
Lillian Rhoades 11/30/10
Your writing ability is quite apparent. I loved the story. Very apropos for the season, and another reminder of the sacrifices the families of service make for us. Nicely done!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/02/10
This is a sweet story and what a wonderful Thanksgiving surprise. I would recommend when you use s phone number in a story, you might want to make it a 555 number. Some people just can't resist calling a number when they see it. ( I promise to resist ) overall you did a nice job.