Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cyber Communication (email, IM’s, etc) (11/04/10)

TITLE: Filling Daddy's Shoes
By Tammie Smith
11/10/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The alarm blasts through my sleep stirring me from my slumber. I shiver as I open my eyes, and snuggle deeper into my blanket treasuring the silence. My mind floats to my husband, and I wonder what he is up to this morning. My mind slowly starts coming to life and all of a sudden my eyes pop open with the possibility of his email. I fling the covers across the room rousing my Jack Russell, Joey, from his warm sleeping spot under the blankets.

I sprint down the hall to the living room, slipping as my sock feet try to grasp the tile floor. My heart thumps as I open my email folder.

I tremble with trepidation as I click the send and receive button. My heart fractures when I realize I don’t have any new emails. Choking back my tears, I refuse to give in to the emotions trying to overcome me.

I walk back to my bed to cuddle with his pillow. I stare at the picture of my little family on the nightstand. My husband looks stately in his uniform holding our four-year-old son. Looking into the face of my son, I see my husband. My eyes shimmered with the tears of the day. This was the day we said, “See you soon” since he was leaving for Iraq on that day. That day was six months ago, I speculate if we will look different. I know my blonde hair has gotten longer, and I have lost some weight.

He will write tomorrow. He has to write tomorrow. It has been about two weeks without any words from him.

“Stop!” I say loudly. “Do not think about why he hasn’t written or called.”

“Dear Father, please keep my husband safe in Iraq. Help me to remember he isn’t avoiding communication with me. It is hard at times to use the computer and phones. Let me only think that he is safe and will write when he can. Amen”

“Mommy you awake?”

I open my eyes to find myself nose to nose with my four-year-old son.

“Adley, what are you doing?”

“Ekymo kisses,” was the only reply I receive as he bounds out of the room.

Realizing I will not be able to relax with him up and moving, I climb out of bed. I pour myself a cup of coffee. The strong smell of coffee envelops me as I sip the rich warm liquid on this brisk January morning. I re-open the laptop with a hopeful feeling. Once again, I feel disappointed that I have not received an email.

Snuggling into my sweater, I step out on the balcony and gaze up at the puffy clouds. It is such a beautiful day, but my heart is sad. I find it hard to enjoy the splendor of the German countryside.

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

I touch my face and become conscious of my tears.

“I just miss Daddy. I want him to write me a letter on the computer.”

“I’m sorry,” he said while hugging my leg.

That evening after I put my son to bed, I open my laptop and my heart fills with such love for my son. I find a large piece of construction paper taped to the screen of my laptop.

A large red heart covers the paper with the words I love you love daddy.

I walk back to my son’s room and gaze at the joyous little man that gave me the best gift I could receive.

I finally receive an email from my husband.

His email clarifies the reasons for the long silence. The base where he is located disconnected the computers and phones. He mentions it has been a rough couple of days, and without any details, I knew what this meant. I feel irritation towards him for not writing, but I realize it was not up to him.

Instead of being angry with him, I reply about our wonderful little boy's loving gesture. I decided to take this opportunity to tell him how proud I was of him for being such a wonderful role model for our son, and how much I loved him. I informed him that he was my hero, and our son’s hero.

Although it is wonderful to receive an email from my husband, I find myself thinking of the email my son gave me.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 366 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Sullivan 11/12/10
This is so well written and heart warming. If this is a true story, you are raising a very fine young man. Thanks for sharing.
Verna Mull 11/12/10
What a beautiful description of what I am sure that many people feel, and the sweet little guy is pretty typical of a childs heart. That is why God has told us "Unless you become as a little child you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. More wisdom in those little ones hearts. Great Story.
Beth LaBuff 11/12/10
You put me "in the moment" with the wife, waiting for the email. Reading this the day after Veteran's Day gave it a special meaning (and high-lighted some of the challenges the families face.) Very nice work!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/12/10
This is just beautiful. I have tears in my eyes and can easily picture the whole scene. Beautiful story!
Caitlyn Meissner11/13/10
I love how her son gave her a message. It was so unexpected. You did a great job on such a thoughtful, meaningful story.
Brenda Rice 11/13/10
You did a good job of writing with this story. So touching, sounded so real, the unexpected jesture of the little boy, the raw emotions of the mother all worked to make this enjoyable. Good job.
Philippa Geaney 11/14/10
Very well written and such a lovely story. Hope you continue to enjoy your writing as much as I enjoyed reading this.
Rachel Phelps11/16/10
Your concept is excellent and your MC's voice is strong. Because it is first person, try thinking of ways you think and experience things - do you think "I feel sad" or do you experience it with a pang? Words like "feel" and "think" can distance a reader in first person.

Overall, a very strong story.
Susan Montaperto11/16/10
Thank you for a very heartwarming story. The characters were very well written. The email from the son was a special touch to the story.
Lillian Rhoades 11/17/10
Absolutely loved the title, very appropriate for the story. Great story line, with suspense and surprise, two winning combinations. You got my attention, and kept it.
Barbara Lynn Culler11/17/10
Indeed, a lovely story.

I wondered about the snuggling into the sweater. I think of snuggling as re-wrapping it around yourself, not putting it on. Since she just got out of bed, she would be in her sleewear-right?

Beautiful story- I could see a child doing something like that!
Catrina Bradley 11/17/10
Great job describing the action, the MC's emotions, and keeping my attention. Such a sweet story! My only red ink: Don't feel you have to tie everything up in a bow at the end - I felt it may have gone on a bit too long. This was well written and engaging story of a military wife's day.
Henry Clemmons11/17/10
You really touched me. Anointed and real. You can write!!!!!!!!!!! Keep'em coming.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/18/10
Congratulations on your great placing! Keep up the fantastic job !