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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cyber Communication (email, IM’s, etc) (11/04/10)

TITLE: He Couldn't!
By Shannon Parker
11/06/10


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Janette attempted to contact her husband, seeing as he was an hour late for dinner and no communication since six-thirty this morning. “Where could he be?” she thought. Over and over again she called but no answer. Henry had been running late some this week, but not an hour. Fifteen minutes here, ten minutes there, but not an hour late. Janette had spoken with a friend about this and of course her first conclusion was that maybe he is cheating. This could be a possibility, but not with Henry. He loved her. He looked after her and the kids. He wouldn’t dare! The more Janette kept thinking about this junk, the more her mind played up the possibility until it was almost reality.

Wow, now it has been an hour and thirty minutes! Janette calls again; still no answer! If he is cheating what is she going to do? Where is she going to go? Four children together and fourteen years, doesn’t that mean anything? Then her thoughts are interrupted by a car door slamming. She peers out the window to see who it is and sees Henry coming to the door. Quickly, Janette begins thinking of how she will find out what has been keeping Henry late this week.

As Henry comes in the door, Janette walks over to him and gives him a hug, but only to smell his collar. Hmm, I don’t smell any perfume on his neck, she thought as she leaned in a little closer. Henry welcomed her embrace and gave her a kiss after the long hug was over. “Well honey, I’ve missed you too! Is dinner ready, I'm famished?” Henry stated as he walked over to the kitchen. “Looks like it’s just you and I tonight dear, because since you were late I went on ahead and fed the kids so they could finish up their homework.” said Janette as she took her seat. “I know sweetheart and I am truly sorry, but work has been real hectic this past week.” “Well, Henry, did you get any of my messages? I have called several times, not just once and have sent text to your phone over and over again. Is there someone else? Please be honest with me Henry! If there is someone else, I need to know! You know I was talking to Lindsey about all of this and she said it sounded like maybe you are having a fling, seeing as you have been late all week and this just isn’t like you! (Henry tries to talk, but Janette isn’t stopping yet) I can’t handle this Henry! Am I not good enough for you? I have given you children, I clean up after you and I cook your meals!!!” “Janette, stop! What are you talking about? Baby, I love you and I appreciate you very much! You truly complete me and there is no other woman!” Henry begins to chuckle. “What is so funny?” Janette asks. Henry replies, “You sent these texts to me, right?” “Yes!” said Janette. “Well I would have answered them if I thought they were from you but I thought that one of the kids got the phone. I don’t quite understand, “wr r u” and this one is even better, “I nd u cl me rt now.” Honey, I don’t understand this stuff!” Henry said laughing.

Janette waited a minute, looked at the phone, then looked up at Henry. She hesitated only for a moment and then busted out laughing too. “I am so glad I married you, but for future reference this says, “Where are you” and the other says “I need you, call me right now.” I am sorry for getting upset, can you please forgive me for doubting you?” Janette asked as she looked into his eyes with a pout on her face. “Of course baby! Now, can we eat dinner, I’m famished!”

So Henry and Janette ate their dinner and well, that just about sums it up for us housewives who worry and stress about our hubbies without seeking the Lord on the matter first and going to our “friends” for advice!!


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This article has been read 222 times
Member Comments
Member Date
DK Landers11/11/10
This is a funny story. Most of us are guilty of jumping to conclusions at times. I have one constructive comment: it would be much easier to read broken up into paragraphs. You might find some helpful examples by reading other submissions. Otherwise, a fun theme and important moral.
DK Landers11/11/10
I wanted to clarify my last comment because it is not like you didn't use paragraphs at all. I was mainly referring to dialogue. Conversation is usually broken up into paragraphs. In the long, middle paragraph both characters are speaking and it is a bit confusing.
Nancy Sullivan 11/12/10
One drawback to instant communication is the onslaught of anxiety attacks like this one. Your MC has lots of company. Cute story.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/12/10
This is well done. I liked how you built up the MC's panic little by little. Nice job.
Brenda Rice 11/13/10
Oh how familiar this sounds. I have actually planned my hubby's funeral when he was late and then wanted to kill him when he came home safe. I like the take on the topic and the tension you showed with your MC. Allowing each person speaking to be a new paragraph would make the dialogue easier to follow. But I followed it and enjoyed it.
Shannon Parker11/14/10
Thank you for the advice! I need help and critiquing. Bless you all! ;)