The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
You make some excellent points. I wasn't sure if Sarah and"I" were the same person and you slipped from 3rd person to 1st. But it doesn't really matter. Sarah is quite wise. You did a great job showing a wonderful way to counter the pain of gossip. Excellent job
11/07/10
The point of view change was a bit distracting, but easy enough to fix. Great point, and delivered in an understandable, relateable way. Nicely done.
11/07/10
Sarah was very brave at the end--great job.

The apparent POV switches would be clearer if you use italics for Sarah's thoughts. You have to use some HTML to do that; see the forums FAQ section for instructions on how that's done.

Your dialogus was realistic, and this story made an important point.