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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Conversation (face to face) (10/07/10)

TITLE: Judy
By Ken Ebright
10/11/10


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Judy, a freshman in college, was studying for her English test, when there was a knock on her dorm room door. She went to answer the door.

“Hi Mom.” she smiled.

“Can I come in?” said Mom.

“Sure,” Judy stepped out of the way and her mom entered.

Her mom had a serious look on her face, “I love you very much and we have always been close. Why don't you stay in touch?”

Judy went back over and sat at her desk, “Mom! I e-mail and text you every couple of days.”

Her mom went over and stood in front of her desk. “Judy, you have been at school for two months. You only live 15 minutes away from home; the first couple of weeks you came over on Sundays. Now we don’t hear from you.”

A confused look came over Judy's face, “Mom, we have sent e-mails and have texted each other. I am very busy. I am studying for tests, I have papers to write. I would like to get to know other people.”

Mom shook her head, “Judy, that is all fine but we never meet face to face. E-mails and text messages are very impersonal.”

Judy gave her mom an angry look, “Mom, I go school during to day and I work three evenings a week. Again, I have tons of homework to do. I would love to get together with you more, but I can’t. I am not your little girl anymore."

Mom sighed, “Are Thanksgiving and Christmas going to be the only time we will see you?”

“Mom!”

Mom reached over and gave Judy a side hug. “I love you very much. Dad and I desire to be close to you. E-mails are impersonal. It’s about having a meaningful relationship with you. You could at least go to church and have lunch with us on Sundays. We have been so close for years and you don‘t live that far away You can‘t give us a few hours a week. A couple of Sundays a month? ”

Judy threw her pencil down, “Mom, I don’t have that much time anymore.”

Mom's eyes rolled, “You can’t come see me and your dad on two Sundays a month!

Don’t you eat on Sunday?”

Judy gave her mom an angry look, “I do eat on Sunday.”

Her mom smiled, “We love you; we want to see you more. Being in college should not change our relationship. Were afraid of loosing you ”

Judy sighed and she shook her head as gave up the fight with her mom. “Okay mom, I will try to find time on a few Sundays a month. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Judy went and found time with her parents and continued their close relationship


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This article has been read 299 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/21/10
You did a great job adding extra details to the conversation that really helped me get to know the characters better. I laughed at the line Don't you eat on Sundays? I think you could have ended it with them hugging and saying I love you. But overall it reminded me of what many parents with college kids are going through. Nice job.
Lillian Rhoades 10/21/10
As I read your story, I couldn't help but remember the song, "Breaking Up is Hard to Do." Many "my kid's first time away from home" Moms catch Separation Disease.
Very timely subject this month:-) I suggest you edit and review before submission;noticed a few missed words, etc...
DK Landers10/22/10
I can really relate to your story as the mother of grown sons. What the grown kids don't realize is that their mom will always worry when they don't call, and yearn to see them no matter how old they get. Good job of "keeping it real." There are a few technical errors that would probably be caught during proofreading.
Jan Ackerson 10/23/10
Those empty nest years are so hard!

Work on making your dialog sound more natural.

I bet Judy will gladly go home more often, if it'll keep her mother from visiting her dorm!
Genia Gilbert10/24/10
Good thoughts on the need to see those loved ones face to face.
Brenda Rice 10/26/10
I agree with Judy's mom. E-mails and texting are very impersonal. But I've had to learn in order to stay in touch with those I hold dear. I could visualize the situation and I understand how the mom felt. Thanks for writing.