The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh I could relate to some of the wife's feelings. You did a good job with showing the couple's inner thoughts.
10/21/10
I wonder how many "old marrieds" can relate to this story. You do a good job in showing how marriage takes consistent effort from both spouses or communication dies. I like the surprise at the end where he tells her to talk to him. It indicates that he was yearning to rekindle their past intimacy as well, but in dwelling on her needs, she missed it.
10/23/10
This is very well done! Excellent title, and good job of building atmosphere.

Consider breaking the longer paragraphs into slightly shorter ones for greater readability.

I especially liked your description of the small gesture in the last paragraph. Lovely bit of writing.
What a great moment. I kind of wanted her to hand him a copy of Love Languages w/ a post-it marking the Words of Affirmation section for him to read :)

The story itself is really good.

You'll need to be careful about your sentence & paragraph lengths because I found myself almost having to trace it with my finger to follow the thought through. And I know in one sentence you had a point-of-view shift (POV)- the waiter setting the glass down and she sighs but the way it's written it sounds like the waiter sighed. So watch for things like that.

Very descriptive. Very appropriate. and Very sweet. good job.
10/24/10
I really liked the warm thoughts and depth of this writing. You did a good job!
10/26/10
There are several strong stories in Beginners this week and this one is no exception. You captured your mc's longing and desires quite well. Yes, shorter paragraphs will make it easier to read. BUT still a well-written story with a wonderful ending.
Congratulations on a first place win in your level!!
10/28/10
Congratulations on winning a well-deserved first place!
Keep up the good work! You'll be in Level 2 before you know it.
Congratulations.
10/28/10
Congratulations! I knew the piece was good! Keep wrting.
10/29/10
Veronica, this is very good and deserving the win as well as top 40. Your style is smooth and your talent very evident. I look forward to reading more of your work. The smaller paragraphs seems to be what we do here at FW. Maybe, we're spoiled readers.
Congrats!

Mona
Good job. Congrats on your first place!