The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 436 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
You did a great job with the mother-daughter dialog. I have that kind of relationship with my daughters. It's nice when they become adults they also can become close friends.

You might want to double-space between paragraphs to make it easier to read.

All in all a good message.
You did a great job with the mother-daughter dialog. I have that kind of relationship with my daughters. It's nice when they become adults they also can become close friends.

You might want to double-space between paragraphs to make it easier to read.

All in all a good message.
10/21/10
I like the dialogue between the mother daughter too. You've done really well on this. I could visualize the conversation. I did have some confusion on who was actually speaking during the "sorry" portion of the piece. But all in all I thought you did a good job!
10/22/10
Good twist at the end--wise daughter!

I felt that at times the dialog felt unrealistic, and I'd have liked a bit more action or characterization to help me to know the characters better.

Good use of the topic word...keep up the good work!
This gave me that "warm fuzzy" feeling. The last sentence made me smile. Good job!
This is a cute story and I like how this conversation helped shift the mom's focus, to remind her that her husband was listening.

Definitely play around w/ the preview button & the spaces before submitting next time. You don't want to lose a reader over something so easy to fix (though I know sometimes it just slips and then it's too late).

And I agree, the dialogue needs to be a little clearer- tags, spacing, and making sure you've just gone one person speaking/acting/thinking per paragraph will help.

Great job, keep writing!
10/24/10
I liked the message of your "conversation." I think God gives us people beyond our dreams and it takes us awhile to recognize it.
10/25/10
Good story line, smart daughter, great ending. Keep up the good work.