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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Inner Person (09/09/10)

TITLE: River Song
By Brenda Rice


A stiff breeze blows the falling leaves upward, swirling them around before finally allowing them to safely land. The crisp morning air refreshes me. Forest fragrances tantalize my senses as I walk deeper in the woods.

Each step moves me closer to the one I love and farther away from the distractions of my daily life. My days, often rushed, please others but leave me empty. Daily struggles to succeed have no lasting reward.

Yet, I know my obligations require me to complete the tasks for which my salary is paid. It’s right to render unto Caesar’s what is his, but in doing so, I’m often distanced from the one I love.

Days become weeks and weeks turn into months. My schedule is dizzying. I grapple with demands, responsibilities, and I try to make enough time for everything. Everything except….the one I love.

How pleasant the stillness is to my soul. I feel my muscles relax as I stroll along a trail that leads to the river. Oak leaves crunch under my feet. Pine straw drifts toward the musty forest floor. Forest creatures scamper about in search of their secret stashes. There’s unity here. There’s order. Order creates peace. I feel peace coming. It nips at my heels as I walk.

My secret thoughts begin to surface. My dreams, my desires so long buried are revived. My mind reflects on things forgotten….enjoyable things…..important things. I continue toward the river and the one I love.

At last, I hear it! I hear the rushing water as it makes its way to the sea. Pushing forward, ever forward in its quest to be free.

The river draws me with its song of freedom. Its power so obvious, overwhelming little me. I gaze across to the other side amazed by what I see. Churning, rolling, rippling water forces its way to the sea.

Under the shade of a massive oak tree, I lay down on the bank of the river. I can feel the force of the river jarring me through the earth.

Sing your song river. Sing to the one I love. Sing every stanza, not just the first and the third. Your percussions keep time. Your rhythm is fierce.

My eyes move to the sky, so blue, so high with only a few pillow clouds drifting by. I hear the melody of heaven in the distance. Chimes, harps and angels voices in perfect harmony. I reach my hands high to the heavens. My heart releases a cheer. My voice in loud crescendo calls out for the one I love.

“Come my beloved and spend this time with me! Refresh, renew and restore me before I wither and die. My soul aches for your presence. Cast your shadow over me. Breathe into me, the breath of life. Redeem the time I’ve lost with you and fill my soul again.”

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This article has been read 598 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Sullivan 09/16/10
Yuor description of this special place makes me want to join you. A beautiful reminder or our need and His desire to spend time together.
Nancy Sullivan 09/16/10
Apologies for the destracting typo :(
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/17/10
This was beautiful and peaceful.
Christina Banks 09/20/10
I want to go with you. I can feel the peace emanating from your descriptions.
Genia Gilbert09/21/10
Good writing that makes me remember how important it is to have that special place with the One we love, away from the harshness and difficulties of the world.
Loren T. Lowery09/21/10
Poetry in prose - simply beautiful. You have a gift with linking words and phrases together that literally paints scenes into the readers mind. With work like this, I doubt you will be in Beginners long.
Terri Schroeder09/21/10
Very good writing, especially for a beginnner. You won't be a beginner for long though! Keep it up.
Marita Thelander 09/21/10
Great title. I love the forests and I'm blessed to live where it is a matter of mere minutes away and I can sing the "River Song" of mu soul. Very good descriptive scene setting.
Rachel Phelps09/21/10
Lovely. I have no red ink for this. Simply beautiful.
Catrina Bradley 09/22/10
Really, really good! You've got a good handle on "showing not telling", and I love the symbolism of the river as Christ, the River of Life. I don't expect you'll be in beginners very long! Excellent work.
Cheryl Harrison09/23/10
This is beautiful. Congrats on your 1st place. See, I told you it wouldn't be long before you would move up! :o)
Kathy Barnes09/24/10
Very beautiful, you touch my heart.
Wilma Schlegel10/03/10
This is so like a Psalm! I have been to that river.
I can really identify with the busy pase of your life, the overwhelming desire to fit it all in and the hunger to get close to Him.