The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 443 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a lovely message. You have a few typos like existence, but that's no biggie. I really liked the message behind this, that no matter our age or past sins, Jesus is there waiting for us. what a wonderful message. Your love for Jesus and your passion to spread his word is very apparent in your writing.
09/17/10
I liked your description of the prison. I had no trouble depicting it. And the message that it's never too late was great!
This is filled with so many great truths, from the harsh reality of time wasted from one putting off giving their life to the Lord to the power of witnessing to others. I believe that you just might be gravitating toward devotionals which is AWESOME! I also liked the prison setting which shows that we are all salvageable, regardless of where we've been.
I've read all of this week's entries and thought I'd come back to some of my favorites and revisit them.

You wrote like you've experienced prison before. The little details like the guards using numbers instead of names is something that made your story credible. Also the fact that a chaplain came to visit him before discharge was a nice touch and a good way to express your message without coming off preachy.

Now for a little more red ink-- you really do have quite a few typos. If you don't have a challenge buddy to proof your paper , leave it totally alone for a day or two, then read it aloud. This will help you see those errors. I was also confused why it was mostly in italics. Make sure you preview it several times before you hit that submit button.

I'm sure if you asked around a bit you'd find someone who would love to edit or give you an opinion on your piece.

You have such a sense of excitement that emanates from your work. This was a creative idea; there were only 2-3 prison stories and they were all quite different. It's obvious that you want to share Jesus with others. One last piece of advice for everyone is to read, read, and read. If you're outgoing, I'd suggest you leave comments too. Even if you just Leave them on your level. That is one of the things that has helped me become more confident in my own writing.
09/20/10
It is never too late. I worked in a juvenile girl's prison ministry during my college years. It was amazing how hard these girls were, but we saw several of them trust Christ and grow in their spiritual lives. Your story reminded me of that experience.
Congratulations for placing in the top 10 of your level! See it does pay off to keep at it!
Definitely an "inner person" story. Great job with the setting and inner thoughts.