The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/04/10
This was an interesting POV. You did a great job of describing how many marriages are on the inside.
09/04/10
your title drew me in. I stayed with it because of the snarky 'tude of mr. happy. (I know it too well.) I like the dark humor of it-- not sure if that's the best way to say it- it's funny but it's also brooding.. anyhow.

things to watch for (because you'll be moving up soon, imo)- you shouldn't jump POV's within the same piece w/o separating out the scenes with dashes or extra spaces-- I think in one paragraph, we were inside both the MC's head & his wife's. And just general punctuation/grammar mechanics that kind of thing. (you know like the millions I'm breaking here)

keep writing, you won't be in beginner's long :)