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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Feel (emotions) (08/26/10)

TITLE: Emotions of Life
By Kathy Barnes
08/31/10


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Lord, why did you make emotions? They cause my life to bounce around as if I was riding on a roller coaster with it highs, lows, sharp turns, and drops. More days than not, they just get in my way. It is a constant fight, to keep them in control. Some days I know the reason why I feel the way I do, but other days I don’t have a clue.

Today, I feel like weeping, and I’m fighting back the tears, the pain, the anger, the frustration, and hopelessness of my circumstances. Every event seems to trigger more fears. My soul is trapped inside a black hole; its gravity is so great that no light of joy can escape from its cold, dark, forbidding grip. It blinds me, so that I cannot see the promise of a future. Its grim hands hold me in this inhospitable sinister place. I gasp for air and struggle to break free from the chains of my emotions, if I cease to fight; they will overpower me. If I surrender, I will dye crushed beneath it weight.

Lord, is this the weight you felt upon the cross? Did You walk up Cavalry’s hill in order that I might be free of it?

I feel other emotions too, that I don’t like to admit envy, hate, bitterness, greed, pride and shame. I push them down inside, hoping that they will go away, so no one will see the real me. I contain it for a little while, then that last drop of water breaks the dam, and rivers of unsightly, hideous, obnoxious, and disgusting thoughts explode out of my heart wreaking havoc on anything in its path. These vile foul smelling emotions nauseate and repulse even me. This film of slime covers me, and I cannot free myself of its malevolent iniquity.

Lord, You know better than anyone else the cost of these sinful emotions. They eat the soul from the inside. Slowly, it destroys my body and my mind. Why were you willing to trade your robe of white for my filthy rags? I do not know.


Lord, why is it that bad emotions seem to linger? Why is it that happy emotions of delight, joy, wonder, contentment, and love seem so quickly to fade? I guess without bad emotions, I would not recognize the good. If I had never known the valley, then I could not cherish the mountain’s top. There are times; I wish that I had no emotions, for they cause me pain.

But, Lord, if I felt no emotions, then how would I recognize Your love. It is the greatest of all emotions; it is the essence of your being. So strong is Your love; that it reaches across time and space. You are ever true, faithful, kind, and good. Your love does not think of its own needs, but of mine. Love asks, “What can I do for You?” not “What can You do for me?” You are never too busy, or so far away that You cannot find the time to listen to my heart.

Your love does not give up because I fail, or if I don’t get it right the first time. You do not get mad and storm off, when I insist on having my own way. But, patiently wait for me to come to my senses. Your love’s arms hold me tight, pulling me to its bosom. It cradles me as a newborn babe, comforting me, while it wipes away my tears. In my ears it whispers, “Trust me. I know you don’t understand, but I know best. I will work everything out for good.” My heart is filled with peace that gives me rest, despite the trials.

As I surrender at my beloved’s feet joy, delight, happiness, and ecstasy rush through my soul thrilling it with pure elation. Your love is perfect in every way and completes my soul’s desires. It frees my heart from the chains of depression, and breaks every curse spoken over me. Your love tastes so sweet I hunger for more. Your love is a deep and endless well from which I draw my strength. It’s capable of quenching my thirst and desire for love. One second with You is enough to confirm that I am made for this. You make life worth living. You are all that matters.

I thank You for emotions. I thank You for Your love.


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Member Comments
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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/04/10
You did a great job describing so many emotions. It feels like you might have experienced depression in your life. Jesus is the best one to help leave depressing thoughts behind. Make sure you proofread before you submit. I noticed dye instead of die and it instead of it's. But overall you did a great job.