The Official Writing Challenge
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You have some inconsistencies with tense here, but an interesting little vignette. I'd like to see it expanded, to hear more of the conversation with the old woman, and to develop her character more.
very nice. A couple of things: "I felt as if the Lord made this possible." You could probably delete that sentence. It adds nothing to the story and the reader is already aware that this was all God's doing. Also, the final sentence is way too long with run-on ideas and poor punctuation. the story needs to end on a stronger note. I agree with the above critique in that you could have expanded more on the conversation you had with this dear woman. What did she say that ministered to you, and you to her? Try level 2 next time!
Heh-heh. This is exactly what happens when we watch horror movies! This is a good story and it would be even better if you gave us more details, stretch it out a little. Blessings!
Debra, you have a very relational style which, with polish, will work well. Now though, as has been said, you just need to watch some of those run on sentences. The first one for example, where there needs to be a break between the flashing hotel/motel sign, and the bit about "I'm driving..."

The other problem is that your tense changes, which is probably because you started writing in what is quite a hard tense - as though the action is happening right now. The sort of thing we mean by tense problems is seen in the third paragraph where you first "ring" the bell (which is right for the tense), but then you "rang" it again (which is wrong for the tense - it's past tense).

These are all things that we learn as we develop our writing skills and they are common mistakes.

One other thing though, please don't feel pushed by one of the comments to move up to Level 2. You are a quite legitimate beginner and deserve the right to grow and develop your skill, then shine on this level, before moving up to where the competition is much stronger for a level champion award. As well as writing, the best advice I can give you is to spend time on the Message Boards here and learn from some of the others who hang around there, and also to read a lot of other material. It's a great way to pick up what does and doesn't work. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)