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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Breathe (08/19/10)

TITLE: Breath of Life
By Frankie Conar
08/25/10


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Oh, God, help me! I screamed just seconds before the sickening sounds of metal crashing and glass breaking. The pain is unbearable, I want to scream, but I can’t.
It feels like white hot flames are running through my body. God, please take the pain away, I plead before passing out for a few moments.

I’m so confused, what happened? It feels like I’ve been trapped here for hours. I try to look around for help but I can’t focus; something warm and sticky fills my eyes. I want to wipe my face, a wave of nausea washes over me as I try to move my arms, there’s so much pain. I start to shiver uncontrollable, just as the cold overtakes me, I feel myself slipping away into a dark void. Yes, let me sleep. Sleep…can’t feel…pain.

It’s safe, warm, and comfortable in this darkness. This is nice, I feels like I’m floating in a snuggly blanket. There is a commotion below me, I reluctantly open my eyes. Hearing sirens, I look down and see people rushing about, a crowd is gathering. Traffic is backing up as I view the twisted wreckage below me.

There’s a green van, like mine, and a black car involved in the crash. The man in the car seems to be alright, he’s getting out of his vehicle. A beer can falls to the pavement before he shuts the door. Watching I see him cry as the police handcuff him, and put him in their squad car, everything seems so surreal. The driver in the van seems to be in pretty bad shape. Is that me? It can’t be me! I have kids and a husband waiting for me at home, I need to be on my way.

Suddenly there are rays of light dancing around me; the brightness, sparkling like diamonds, captures my attention. It’s so beautiful, I want to go toward the shinning illuminating beams. There’s my dad! We joyously embrace and I see others I’ve known, my grandparents, aunts, uncles and my best friend, Theresa. I feel compelled to go to the light. I’m so happy, I’ve never known such joy.

Beautiful strands of music can be heard above the singing and shouting of others in this wonderful place. Happiness fills my soul as I realize I’m going to meet Jesus. I can see him now, he is smiling at me. Did I hear him right? He just told me to go back. With tears in my eyes, I plead to stay with him.

“My child, you must go back, you still have things to accomplish for me,” he says.

“But the pain will be so great ,” I cry.

“It’s not your time, you must return.”
“I don’t want to leave you, Jesus.”

“Oh my beloved, don’t you know I’m always with you, I will never leave you or forsake you,” I listen to his words of comfort as I feel myself being pulled back to the scene below me.

There is a horrible screeching noise as the Jaws of Life cut away the twisted metal holding my body prisoner. Hands are reaching in to put a collar on my neck. They place a backboard behind me, as they gently lift me to safety. I watch as the paramedics work on my body. “Breathe, breathe,” I hear the emergency worker shout as he performs CPR.

With a whoosh, the breath of life fills my body and once again I’m conscious of the pain. “We’ve got a pulse! Call for Life Force to meet us.” Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I call to God for help. I begin to wonder if all that occurred in the last few minutes was just a hallucination, but then I feel the comforting arms of the Holy Spirit holding me close, and a still small voice whispers, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”


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Member Comments
Member Date
AnneRene' Capp 08/27/10
Incredibly well written in my book. This whisked me into suspense from your very first sentence. The entire read was enthralling for me and sounds like a real life journey of the MC. What a reassuring message about seeing Jesus, wanting to be with Him and knowing He IS always with us. If this doesn't place...I will be dismayed. It's exciting to see so many great stories and good writing in beginners. So much to look forward too!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/28/10
This is a great story and the sign of a true believer who does what Jesus asks even though every part wants to say no.
Gina Fifo08/29/10
Excellent story-telling from beginning to end. A winner in my book. Keep writing!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/02/10
Congratulations for placing in the top 12 of your level.


   
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