The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You're certainly know how to tell a good, gripping story that keeps the reader engaged. My only comment would be to be cautious in the use of too many adjectives to describe the situation (such as the storm/thunder/lightening. You did an excellent job setting the atmosphere and being overly descriptive can actually dilute the affect rather than enhance it. I enjoyed this story very much and the ending was well done! Keep up the great work.
I remember thinking there were monsters at every turn when I was home alone too.
Very descriptive! Nicely done!
Very good descriptive writing. The fear and then the eventual great relief of the MC - were vividly portrayed. Well done.
Although I get scared silly, I love thunderstorms. I was nestled right beside you on that couch and so relieved when your parents and THAT FLASHLIGHT arrived! :)
I like your descriptions of the the thunder..grumbling, growls. Good imagery. I love thunderstorms.

A couple of minor grammatical errors, but all in all, a good read.
An entertaining story with a great ending. Well done.
I live in the deep south and thunderstorms are a daily event this time of year. I felt as if I was there with you in the middle of a stormy night, frightened and very thankful that someone came home.
Congratulations for placing in the top 8 of your level.