The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/20/10
What a great job of writing! It really pulls one into the story. Felt true compassion for the mother who, of course, loved one son as much as the other, but such relief to know that a young man did not have to serve a sentence for something he didn't do. Can't help but think of Jesus, who did just that.
Very creative take on the subject; and definitely one to be used in such circumstances. You can definitely tell a good story. I think if you were to indent or make the section where the accused is telling/reflecting his side of the story in italics it would help the reader in the transition from and back to Margaret. I may have missed it, too, but what was the piece of paper in the picture that convinced everyone? Great job! Keep writing.
This is a great story. I liked the way the MC prayed for guidance.

You need to start a new paragraph for every new speaker, even if it's only a word or two.

You pulled me into the story. The dialog was believable and the ending nice, but I wish I knew what she saw in the photo that convinced everyone of his innocence.
Good story and well written. Nice work!