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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hotel/Motel (09/12/05)

TITLE: To My Future Spouse
By Beatrice Ang
09/14/05


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A/n: The story you are about to read is not something that has happened to meíKbut has happed to billions of teens around the globe and may happen to more. May this letter touch their hearts as though it were GodíŽs gentle hand reminding them of the preciousness of love.



Dear Darling,


So many years ago, or perhaps recently, I gave away something that was yours. You entrusted it to me, that precious something, and yet I failed to protect it. Perhaps, it is because I did not value it as much as you didíKor perhaps because I was slowly succumbing to the pain of lonelinessíKand I could not endure it.

You know where I grew upíKfor we grew in the same world. It is a world that is vile, quick to give in to the pleasure of sin. I was like a small tree, still with young tender roots. My branches swayed easily where the wind carried itíKand my leaves fell every FallíKwithering, turning brown, and dying.

It was during those years that I met the thief---the robber---that stole from me what belonged to you. At first, I did not perceive him for who he was. He seemed like such a gentle young man, charming and irresistible. When he smiled, I could see the sunshineíKand when he looked at me, the stars twinkled in his eyes. It was while I looked at him that I loved himíKor thought I didíKbecause he was everything I could possibly want. In my folly, I mistook him for you.

He lavished me with the love and affection I seem to have missed all my life. His deep voice sang to me even gentler than a lullaby. With sweet words, he caressed meíKwith promises, he secured a place in my heart. Little by little, I gave my soul to himíKand blinded with what I thought was love did not know it.

Time passed and we spent every living minute together. I could not pass a day without seeing him, for I feared he would forget me. Somehow, I feared he might stop loving me. I did all I could to please him. During the night, I would sneak out of the house to meet him. Nothing my parents said---or warned me about--- mattered anymore. I loved himíKand that was a love they would never understand. They were too old fashionedíKtoo conservativeíKwhat did they know about the passions of youthful romance?

One night, my dark-haired knight took me out for dinner. He was especially good to me, I remember. He treated me as though I were a most precious porcelain dollíKa princess he cherishedíKa fragile glass he would not dare break.

He drove me to a motel, and still sitting in his car, I realized what he wanted from the look he gave me. It was a look I would never forgetíKa look of blazing desire and outpouring lust. I knew what he wantedíKbut could I give it?

And then he opened his mouth and spoke to me. Softly, gentlyíKhe reminded me he loved me. And even more gently, he reminded me that I loved him. He wanted meíKno other man had ever wanted meíKand I wanted him.

I went up with him to that motel, deaf to the pounding of guilt inside my chest. And that night, I gave him all. My heart, my body, my soulíKup to the last drop of my precious purity. The purity I knew belonged only to you.

And when I woke the next morning, I knew IíŽd betrayed you. What should have been yours I gave to someone else.

And I wonder, my darling, if on the day I meet you I can still give the same love I gave away. I once gave it to a man I thought would be my allíKbut time passed and our love for each other grew cold.

Can I still look you in the eye and say I am yours alone? Can I still affirm my words with kisses that was once shared by someone else? When you look at meíKand when I look at you, will the betrayal of the past still haunt us and deny us perfect love?

My darling, though God can forgive meíKcould you? íąTill the day I meet you, perhaps I will never know. But always and foreveríKmy heart will hope.



From the One who Loves you Always,

Your future Wife


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This article has been read 691 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 09/19/05
This is beautifully written and heartbreaking. It should be required reading for teen girls in every youth group. ONly two suggestions: hit "Preview" before you submit, and you will see the formatting errors and be able to correct them before this is published. Also, I don't think you need the disclaimer at the beginning; it would be far more powerful without it.
Pat Sciancalepore09/19/05
This was a very unique approach to an age-old story. I pray young girls will read this and think twice.
Alexandra Wilkin09/20/05
I agree it would be more powerful without the disclaimer; well written, great perspective. God bless
sandra snider09/20/05
no disclaimer needed.
Anita Neuman09/20/05
Beautifully and tastefully worded, with a very clear and vital message. Well-done!
M'Kayla Kelly09/20/05
Very passionate and powerfully written. You truly have something to say, here. Odd typos??-looks like something wrong in the formatting rather than regular typos. Thats the only negative I see. Be blessed!
Julianne Jones09/24/05
So beautifully written with such sensitivity and insight. Every teen needs to read this - but whether they would listen is another story. I don't have a problem with the disclaimer - would probably have included it myself had I written it - but that's just me. Well done.
Deborah Porter 09/26/05
Beatrice, this was beautiful and rated very well with the Level 1 judges. You placed 9th in the Level 1 rankings. So be encouraged.

I noticed that some people have commented on typos, or formatting errors. I've explained on the message boards why this happens, so that when people leave feedback they don't think that you haven't checked your work. It's because, I suspect, you are using a computer set for a different language - possibly Chinese. When you preview your submission, your browser shows that everything is fine. But for other computers set for English, it can show up some odd symbols for hyphens, apostrophes and quotation marks.

Always use plain text (without formatting) and then it doesn't hurt to go over the apostrophes, hyphens and quotations marks in the submission box - just to be on the safe side.

Other than that, I think the only thing that let it down was that it was a little bit loose for the topic. Also, I have to agree that a disclaimer at the start spoils things a little. But other than that, it was very good, and I'm looking forward to seeing some very good work from you in the future. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)