Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hotel/Motel (09/12/05)
TITLE: To My Future Spouse
By Beatrice Ang
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So many years ago, or perhaps recently, I gave away something that was yours. You entrusted it to me, that precious something, and yet I failed to protect it. Perhaps, it is because I did not value it as much as you didíKor perhaps because I was slowly succumbing to the pain of lonelinessíKand I could not endure it.
You know where I grew upíKfor we grew in the same world. It is a world that is vile, quick to give in to the pleasure of sin. I was like a small tree, still with young tender roots. My branches swayed easily where the wind carried itíKand my leaves fell every FallíKwithering, turning brown, and dying.
It was during those years that I met the thief---the robber---that stole from me what belonged to you. At first, I did not perceive him for who he was. He seemed like such a gentle young man, charming and irresistible. When he smiled, I could see the sunshineíKand when he looked at me, the stars twinkled in his eyes. It was while I looked at him that I loved himíKor thought I didíKbecause he was everything I could possibly want. In my folly, I mistook him for you.
He lavished me with the love and affection I seem to have missed all my life. His deep voice sang to me even gentler than a lullaby. With sweet words, he caressed meíKwith promises, he secured a place in my heart. Little by little, I gave my soul to himíKand blinded with what I thought was love did not know it.
Time passed and we spent every living minute together. I could not pass a day without seeing him, for I feared he would forget me. Somehow, I feared he might stop loving me. I did all I could to please him. During the night, I would sneak out of the house to meet him. Nothing my parents said---or warned me about--- mattered anymore. I loved himíKand that was a love they would never understand. They were too old fashionedíKtoo conservativeíKwhat did they know about the passions of youthful romance?
One night, my dark-haired knight took me out for dinner. He was especially good to me, I remember. He treated me as though I were a most precious porcelain dollíKa princess he cherishedíKa fragile glass he would not dare break.
He drove me to a motel, and still sitting in his car, I realized what he wanted from the look he gave me. It was a look I would never forgetíKa look of blazing desire and outpouring lust. I knew what he wantedíKbut could I give it?
And then he opened his mouth and spoke to me. Softly, gentlyíKhe reminded me he loved me. And even more gently, he reminded me that I loved him. He wanted meíKno other man had ever wanted meíKand I wanted him.
I went up with him to that motel, deaf to the pounding of guilt inside my chest. And that night, I gave him all. My heart, my body, my soulíKup to the last drop of my precious purity. The purity I knew belonged only to you.
And when I woke the next morning, I knew IíŽd betrayed you. What should have been yours I gave to someone else.
And I wonder, my darling, if on the day I meet you I can still give the same love I gave away. I once gave it to a man I thought would be my allíKbut time passed and our love for each other grew cold.
Can I still look you in the eye and say I am yours alone? Can I still affirm my words with kisses that was once shared by someone else? When you look at meíKand when I look at you, will the betrayal of the past still haunt us and deny us perfect love?
My darling, though God can forgive meíKcould you? íąTill the day I meet you, perhaps I will never know. But always and foreveríKmy heart will hope.
From the One who Loves you Always,
Your future Wife
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