Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hotel/Motel (09/12/05)
TITLE: To My Future Spouse
By Beatrice Ang
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So many years ago, or perhaps recently, I gave away something that was yours. You entrusted it to me, that precious something, and yet I failed to protect it. Perhaps, it is because I did not value it as much as you did¡Kor perhaps because I was slowly succumbing to the pain of loneliness¡Kand I could not endure it.
You know where I grew up¡Kfor we grew in the same world. It is a world that is vile, quick to give in to the pleasure of sin. I was like a small tree, still with young tender roots. My branches swayed easily where the wind carried it¡Kand my leaves fell every Fall¡Kwithering, turning brown, and dying.
It was during those years that I met the thief---the robber---that stole from me what belonged to you. At first, I did not perceive him for who he was. He seemed like such a gentle young man, charming and irresistible. When he smiled, I could see the sunshine¡Kand when he looked at me, the stars twinkled in his eyes. It was while I looked at him that I loved him¡Kor thought I did¡Kbecause he was everything I could possibly want. In my folly, I mistook him for you.
He lavished me with the love and affection I seem to have missed all my life. His deep voice sang to me even gentler than a lullaby. With sweet words, he caressed me¡Kwith promises, he secured a place in my heart. Little by little, I gave my soul to him¡Kand blinded with what I thought was love did not know it.
Time passed and we spent every living minute together. I could not pass a day without seeing him, for I feared he would forget me. Somehow, I feared he might stop loving me. I did all I could to please him. During the night, I would sneak out of the house to meet him. Nothing my parents said---or warned me about--- mattered anymore. I loved him¡Kand that was a love they would never understand. They were too old fashioned¡Ktoo conservative¡Kwhat did they know about the passions of youthful romance?
One night, my dark-haired knight took me out for dinner. He was especially good to me, I remember. He treated me as though I were a most precious porcelain doll¡Ka princess he cherished¡Ka fragile glass he would not dare break.
He drove me to a motel, and still sitting in his car, I realized what he wanted from the look he gave me. It was a look I would never forget¡Ka look of blazing desire and outpouring lust. I knew what he wanted¡Kbut could I give it?
And then he opened his mouth and spoke to me. Softly, gently¡Khe reminded me he loved me. And even more gently, he reminded me that I loved him. He wanted me¡Kno other man had ever wanted me¡Kand I wanted him.
I went up with him to that motel, deaf to the pounding of guilt inside my chest. And that night, I gave him all. My heart, my body, my soul¡Kup to the last drop of my precious purity. The purity I knew belonged only to you.
And when I woke the next morning, I knew I¡¦d betrayed you. What should have been yours I gave to someone else.
And I wonder, my darling, if on the day I meet you I can still give the same love I gave away. I once gave it to a man I thought would be my all¡Kbut time passed and our love for each other grew cold.
Can I still look you in the eye and say I am yours alone? Can I still affirm my words with kisses that was once shared by someone else? When you look at me¡Kand when I look at you, will the betrayal of the past still haunt us and deny us perfect love?
My darling, though God can forgive me¡Kcould you? ¡¥Till the day I meet you, perhaps I will never know. But always and forever¡Kmy heart will hope.
From the One who Loves you Always,
Your future Wife
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