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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Touch (the sense of touch) (08/05/10)

TITLE: I Vowed It Would Never Happen.
By Iris VanDeventer-Whitney


She tried to entice me by telling of a new youth group that was presenting the program.

I give it to my Mom, she holds on with a bulldog grip that one day I might go to a service with her. I love her and I know her heart aches because I refuse to take part in church.

However, I made my mind up long ago that it was not for me. Look, I am doing fine in my life. Didn’t a publisher accept my manuscript? Wasn’t I writing my third title? Someone must be looking out for me. Don’t you think?”

Sally arrived and we headed for our unknown, to me at least, destination. We entered the back of a large building and I noticed the room was filled with many young people about our age. They all were carrying instruments and begin to gather on a makeshift stage. Sally led me to the front area where chairs were lined around the stage in a circle. We sat down and I noticed the performers were about to start.

I welcomed some entertainment. Writing took up most of my time these days and I felt the need to relax and enjoy the break.

Suddenly the group started playing their music. It certainly was loud. They resembled the Beatles. However, the name on a banner proclaimed ‘The Giants.’

I could only understand part of their songs. Then, they started to sing about Jonah and a whale, I froze in my seat. I looked at Sally. She betrayed me. This is a church service! How could I be so stupid?

I rose to my feet to remove myself from the atmosphere. As I started to make my exit, the Giant’s song filled the room. It questioned if the clouds split and Jesus appeared who would go and who would stay.

A horrible sensation filled my body and I saw a vision. My mother was leaving… I was glued to the ground.

What happened next propelled me back to the stage. I felt a ‘Touch.’ I saw no one. However, I was propelled forward by that ‘Touch.’

The next thing I knew I was on my knees and I was crying, and I was laughing. Never had I experienced such a feeling of love and warmth.

I felt another touch and I glanced around. This time someone was there. My Mother! She drew me into her arms and we both went down to our knees, laughing and crying.

Suddenly, I realized. I am doing what I vowed I would never do. Nevertheless, here I am and happier than I have ever been in my life.

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This article has been read 293 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Iris VanDeventer-Whitney08/14/10
Sorry, somehow the first part of this story did not print. Author
AnneRene' Capp08/16/10
Oh, Iris...my heart dropped when I saw that the first part of your story didn't make it onto the post....HOWEVER, from the rest of the story, I completely "got" your story and loved it!

What a great message to so many of us who at one time declared our allegiance never to be a Holy Roller!...I was one of 'em. :)

I was very moved and touched by your experience and thank God your friend had the guts to get you there regardless of your defiance. It made me chuckle and your ending was great. Don't be discouraged with only part of the story showing up...it is honestly very good!

Tidbit: If you haven't already, check out the "free" writing classes in the forums by Jan and Ann...a wealth of information that I am still trying to implement. :) You have an obvious talent for writing and these classes WILL make all of us even better writers.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/16/10
This is a great story about how God (and sometimes mothers)can work wonders in our life.

I was a bit confused in the beginning; you went from past tense to present and back to past again. I wasn't quite sure where sally was taking her and if Sally was her friend or mother.

But once I got past my haze, you really drew me into the story. I loved how you showed that God is always waiting for us. I smiled at the part where she got up to leave, but instead was brought to her knees.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/16/10
I never read the comments until I post my own. It happens to the best of us. That preview button has saved my story many times. On average I think I hit preview about 10 times before I hit submit. I understand you wanted to let people know that part of your story is missing, but make sure you don't make a comment until after the results are in. But I can empathize, I made mistakes this week that I was sure I had fixed. Keep writing!