The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/13/10
I loved the first part of this story, lots of great description and fun. The second part seemed too drag a bit and lose some of the focus. You have a great flair for comedy.
08/14/10
Great fun. I felt every huff and puff and identified immediately with those pre-reunion jitters. That to me means good writing. Looking forward to many more evocative stories like this.
I so enjoyed the description of trying to get tight clothes on. It painted quite the picture in my mind.

There were some spots I had trouble with, I wasn't exactly sure if I was reading it right. I noticed you had an apostrophe on the Amens, but since they were plural all you needed to add was the s.

The ending was the perfect message. Your passion and love for the Lord really glowed here.
08/17/10
You do have a flair for funny - I loved the tumor and the fat flop verbiage. I could really see and feel the anxiety in the first part. The reunion was not as exciting. One correction - I think Mark became Mike. Something we all have to watch!
Reminds me of my days (in my 20s of wearing tight pants! I used to have to lie flat on my back to get them zipped. Charlotte made me giggle.