The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
08/05/10
Oh, very good! I liked this a lot!

It seemed to "tell" more than "show," though. Although from experience, I know I find it harder to "show" when it's in first person

Loved the ending. Great job!
08/05/10
I am WOWed to find this writing in beginner!
This is a great story. I like how you told it from a POV many of us might not be familiar with.
08/06/10
Great Story. Love the way you brought Christ's love in it.
08/06/10
I really liked the story! Well done. May god continue to bless your writing. Ruth
08/08/10
This article is very well done. As I read the article, I felt that I was there, and wondered if I would be as strong as the dying girl.What a challenge! Great job.
08/10/10
Very nicely written, and from an unexpected POV. Loved the way God's love did His work through His Word. Great ending.
Well done. Sad but powerful story. I'm still a tad confused about where and when it is set, as I'm not sure who the United Forces is, but I understood all the important details.
08/12/10
Loved the POV in this piece. Good job. Congratulations!