The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oh, very good! I liked this a lot!

It seemed to "tell" more than "show," though. Although from experience, I know I find it harder to "show" when it's in first person

Loved the ending. Great job!
I am WOWed to find this writing in beginner!
This is a great story. I like how you told it from a POV many of us might not be familiar with.
Great Story. Love the way you brought Christ's love in it.
I really liked the story! Well done. May god continue to bless your writing. Ruth
This article is very well done. As I read the article, I felt that I was there, and wondered if I would be as strong as the dying girl.What a challenge! Great job.
Very nicely written, and from an unexpected POV. Loved the way God's love did His work through His Word. Great ending.
Well done. Sad but powerful story. I'm still a tad confused about where and when it is set, as I'm not sure who the United Forces is, but I understood all the important details.
Loved the POV in this piece. Good job. Congratulations!