The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/19/05
I liked the repetition of the theme: home, hotel, motel. You did a good job of conveying our longing for rest. Edit for run-on sentences and sentence fragments, and you will have a very nice devotional piece here.
09/19/05
It's seems your saying come and go with me to my father house.
Awesome Story!
09/19/05
there are some run-on sentences and sentence fragments, but perhaps you wrote it this way intentionally. At first, as I started to read, I was wondering if this was poetry. For me, I would have preferred it to read more smoothly, but that's just me. Awesome thoughts, however!
09/19/05
I really loved the beginning of this piece- it reads like poetry and it's beautiful. When you jumped into more of an "explained" type of writing it lost its pull. Still, its a good submission! Thanks for sharing. Be Blessed.
09/20/05
Good thought process!
09/21/05
I agree, in the beginning it almost sounded like poetry and then got just a tad bit heavy mid-and back on track ending. Very nice article though. God bless ya, littlelight