The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/18/10
You told the story well - and what a lesson to learn. I admire your young character's desire to do what is best.
06/18/10
Great story. I remember similar moments in my childhood. I'm not sure how it relates to the assigned topic, though. But maybe we're interpreting it differently.

My only suggestion is taking more care in editing. It would improve the quality of an otherwise fine piece.
06/22/10
Ahhh...what a sweet ending! This would be a great children's story.