The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/18/10
Oh, to be an enthusiastic child again! I loved creative writing when I was in school.

I noticed you started out in present tense, then quickly switched to past tense. Keep your eye out for places where grammar can be polished and watch for correct usage of punctuation. :)

Cute story - I want to know what the children came up with for their assignments!
06/20/10
Yes--I remember these kinds of assignments in school, too.

I agree: watch the verb tenses in your story. Your story would shine with a little more polish on the grammar.

It amazes me how many students can rise to a challenge put forth by a good teacher!
I enjoyed your story very much. I love stories of God's creatures. Very well told. Thank you for sharing.
This is a charming little story that takes me back to my youth.

You need to really do a thorough job of proofreading before you hit the submit button. I noticed some editing that needed to be done.

One time you didn't capitalize Miss in front of the teacher's name. You needed to fix an apostrophe or two as well. Near the end you said No One raised there hand and in that case you should use their (actually to match the subject that is singular (No one) you should use his or her. These are all little details that can be fixed easily once you get familiar with the ways of self-editing.

Don't let my comments above discourage you. I've read several of your pieces and I can really tell that you enjoy writing and want your story heard. Keep at it and you'll keep getting better.

You show some of your vulnerability when you write and that takes a good deal of courage to open yourself up to so many people. I enjoy the little dabs of humor as well.