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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Writer's Challenge (NOT the FaithWriters Challenge) (06/10/10)

TITLE: Stories Of The Sea
By Ken Ebright
06/13/10


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The bell rings, a middle age women get's up with black hair stands in front of the podium and looks at the class "Class today I am going to give you a challenge. I want you to write about your favorite sea animal or fish. The two key things that is required. First, you can describe the animal but you can not tell it‘s name. Second, the story has to be one thousand words in length."

A red head girl in the second row raised her hand, "Miss Parks."

“Yes Betsy,” said Miss Parks.

Betsy‘s smile on her face turned into a frown, “I don’t know how I am going to be able to write one thousand words worth.”

After Betsy asked her question, Miss Parks turned her head and looked at the rest of the class. “This is a creative writing class and this story is suppose to be a challenge. You can tell me what color it is, or what foods it eats. What part of the ocean can you find this fish or animal? Again you can describe it, but you can’t name it.”

A brown haired boy put his hand up.

“Harry, what is you question?” asked the teacher.

Harry Lowered his hand and said, “Does it haft to be the ocean?”

Miss parks smiled and gave a quick laugh, “It does not haft to be, it can be a lake or river or any other body of water.”

A blond girl raised her hand and waved it back and forth, “Miss Parks.”

Miss Parks turned her head quickly and looked at Dianne. “Oh boy, Dianne you seem enthusiastic today what is your question?”

Dianne laughed for a second, “Thank you miss Parks, Can we write a fictional story?”

Miss parks looked into Dianne eye‘s “You can, but you must give a description of the animal in the piece.”

Then Miss Parks paused for a second, “Is there any more questions”

No one raised there hand as the teacher looked around the classroom. “Ok you will have the rest of the period to work on it. Your stories will be due next Friday.”


*************

Next Friday came and Miss Parks got up in front of the class again at the end of the period. “Well class, I have briefly looked through you assignments. I want to be the first to tell you that you did a good job. Isn’t it is amazing to see God’s handy work.”

The bell rang, “Class dismissed, I will grade you papers and get them back to you next time.” Everyone walked out of class that day with a smile.


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This article has been read 294 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Rachel Burkum06/18/10
Oh, to be an enthusiastic child again! I loved creative writing when I was in school.

I noticed you started out in present tense, then quickly switched to past tense. Keep your eye out for places where grammar can be polished and watch for correct usage of punctuation. :)

Cute story - I want to know what the children came up with for their assignments!
Dee Yoder 06/20/10
Yes--I remember these kinds of assignments in school, too.

I agree: watch the verb tenses in your story. Your story would shine with a little more polish on the grammar.

It amazes me how many students can rise to a challenge put forth by a good teacher!
Mildred Sheldon06/21/10
I enjoyed your story very much. I love stories of God's creatures. Very well told. Thank you for sharing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/11/10
This is a charming little story that takes me back to my youth.

You need to really do a thorough job of proofreading before you hit the submit button. I noticed some editing that needed to be done.

One time you didn't capitalize Miss in front of the teacher's name. You needed to fix an apostrophe or two as well. Near the end you said No One raised there hand and in that case you should use their (actually to match the subject that is singular (No one) you should use his or her. These are all little details that can be fixed easily once you get familiar with the ways of self-editing.

Don't let my comments above discourage you. I've read several of your pieces and I can really tell that you enjoy writing and want your story heard. Keep at it and you'll keep getting better.

You show some of your vulnerability when you write and that takes a good deal of courage to open yourself up to so many people. I enjoy the little dabs of humor as well.