The Official Writing Challenge
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06/11/10
This piece opened very well. Partway through, there seemed to be more telling rather than showing. I liked how things turned out well for the main character with the instructor's help. A good tribute to the help teachers give. :-)
06/11/10
This sounds like a true story. I hate your advisor and love Mrs. Baylor. And it had a feel good ending. I especially like your use of joy.
06/13/10
I think there was a lot more to this story. It probably could have been tightend up a little better. It seem to jump to different places at times. So, it lost me half way through. However, I think there is great potential there so keep writing!
06/14/10
I just want to comment on the marvellous description in your second paragraph. You made it very easy for me as the reader to imagine the setting and the ever so unhelpful tutor
06/15/10
I particularly liked how you showed your college life in the first paragraph, and the contrast you showed between the two professors. Good story.
06/16/10
Having been in a similar situation, I understand your MC's panic!

Your opening paragraph was great, but the rest seemed a bit rushed to me. Be stingy with your words. If it's repetitive, cut it out. If it's something we don't need to know, don't write it. If one word (ex. livid) can replace two (very angry), do it. Cutting out the excess will leave room for the little details that bring your characters and settings to life.

I ALWAYS struggle with the 750 word limit and have to read through my stories and cut, cut, cut several times before submitting. I think your work is really good, and I want to see you advance. I look forward to reading more.
06/16/10
Your first few paragraphs really set the tone. I agree with a previous commenter that trimming down the excess words can often lead to a tighter story with a better hook for a reader. I often cut hundreds of words from my first draft to make the word limit. Keep working on it. You've got a storyteller's touch.
06/16/10
Great hook! I like this tribute to a very good teacher. I agree that you're a good storyteller and I want to see more of your writing.
06/17/10
Congratulations, Sue! You got a highly commended. Proud of you!!!! Keep on writing.