Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Book Store/Library (06/03/10)

TITLE: Not Graduating?
By susan woolen
06/06/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I wasn’t going to graduate! My thoughts exploded like a flock of black birds startled into flight by a loud noise: four years of hard, mind-boggling work - work when I was happy, work when I was ill, work when I was too tired to remember my name, never ending dead-lines for twenty page reports, lectures in classrooms with five-hundred students and one bedraggled professor, cold rainy walks to classrooms at the far end of campus, anxious moments over grades, nights of library research, countless hours reading thick text books, and thousands of dollars spent on tuition and rent for a crowded, cement floor dorm room.

My college advisor had summoned me to his office. He slouched at a very messy desk set against a dirty, unpainted wall. The air in the room was stiffling. There was nowhere to sit so I stood just inside the door of his office. He turned toward me with a scowl messing up his dark face.

“You are one credit short of the one-hundred twenty-eight credits you need to graduate and get your teacher’s certification,” he stated flatly.

I blinked and stood frozen to the floor. “One credit?” I gasped. “I thought everything had been planned out and was all set! What happened? What do I do!” I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. How could I not graduate? “What do I do?” I asked again, desperate for an answer.

“I don’t know,” the advisor said impatiently and swiveled his chair back to his desk. He was done talking to me. But if he didn’t know what to do how would I know what to do? My future depended on graduating!

Numb and lonely, I stumbled outside and sat on a stone bench alongside the campus lawn and watched the other students walk by chatting and laughing. I felt dejected and frightened. I had to graduate!

Somewhere, from deep inside my mind, my soul maybe, I heard or imagined, I don’t know which, two words: “independent study”. Was this the answer? But how? I had always done fairly well in English classes. It was then that I remembered a former professor from my second year of English - Mrs. Baylor.

I raced across campus to the English department. Please, oh please, let Mrs. Baylor be there. I pulled open the heavy wooden door of the building, ran up three flights of stairs, and hurried along a long, dim hallway. I peered around an open office door and there sat a grey-haired, smartly dressed, smiling lady.

“Oh, Mrs. Baylor! I need to talk with you!” I almost cried and then explained my graduation dilemma.

“I think I can help you,” she smiled. I was an education candidate so, together, we planned a project involving the children I wanted to teach.

That same day I went to the children’s section of the public library and checked out forty-five books written for kids about children with special physical and/or emotional needs. Every afternoon for the next three weeks, I propped myself under a huge, leafy tree in a nearby park with a wonderful breeze and read those books one by one. Then I hand-wrote a summary of each story on a 5x8 index card and listed the title, author, and the child’s age level. Every once in awhile I had to brush away an ant or red beetle that wanted to settle on me or those books and my back and legs began to ache; but I loved every minute of that project. My heart went out to each special child.

When I had assembled all forty-five cards, I tied them with a blue ribbon and returned to see Mrs. Baylor at a time we had previously agreed on. With both hope and anxiety, I handed her the cards. Again, she smiled warmly.

Nine days later, I pulled a large manilla envelope from my mailbox. Nervously, I tore it open. Inside were all forty-five of my index cards plus a hand-written note from Mrs Baylor: ‘I enjoyed reading your cards. Excellent job! You certainly have earned your credit .’ Joy!

With gratitude to Mrs.Baylor and a well-stocked public library, I graduated from college on time and earned my teacher’s certifications. Again, joy!

***********************************

It’s been years since I graduated and began a teaching career; but I always remember Mrs.Baylor with love and appreciation


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 311 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Seema Bagai 06/11/10
This piece opened very well. Partway through, there seemed to be more telling rather than showing. I liked how things turned out well for the main character with the instructor's help. A good tribute to the help teachers give. :-)
Phee Paradise 06/11/10
This sounds like a true story. I hate your advisor and love Mrs. Baylor. And it had a feel good ending. I especially like your use of joy.
Christine Ramey06/13/10
I think there was a lot more to this story. It probably could have been tightend up a little better. It seem to jump to different places at times. So, it lost me half way through. However, I think there is great potential there so keep writing!
Gregory Kane06/14/10
I just want to comment on the marvellous description in your second paragraph. You made it very easy for me as the reader to imagine the setting and the ever so unhelpful tutor
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/15/10
I particularly liked how you showed your college life in the first paragraph, and the contrast you showed between the two professors. Good story.
Dusti (Bramlage) Zarse06/16/10
Having been in a similar situation, I understand your MC's panic!

Your opening paragraph was great, but the rest seemed a bit rushed to me. Be stingy with your words. If it's repetitive, cut it out. If it's something we don't need to know, don't write it. If one word (ex. livid) can replace two (very angry), do it. Cutting out the excess will leave room for the little details that bring your characters and settings to life.

I ALWAYS struggle with the 750 word limit and have to read through my stories and cut, cut, cut several times before submitting. I think your work is really good, and I want to see you advance. I look forward to reading more.
Rachel Phelps06/16/10
Your first few paragraphs really set the tone. I agree with a previous commenter that trimming down the excess words can often lead to a tighter story with a better hook for a reader. I often cut hundreds of words from my first draft to make the word limit. Keep working on it. You've got a storyteller's touch.
Patricia Turner06/16/10
Great hook! I like this tribute to a very good teacher. I agree that you're a good storyteller and I want to see more of your writing.
Laury Hubrich 06/17/10
Congratulations, Sue! You got a highly commended. Proud of you!!!! Keep on writing.