The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Creatively and interestingly written story. You tied an important issue with the topic. I enjoyed it.
Engaging story with a timely message. Reading the story I noticed a lot of comma and re-working some of the sentences would make this even more powerful. Very good job.
What a mighty God we serve!
What a beautiful story and your title was frosting on the cake. Superbly written. Thank you and God bless.
This is an important message for so many, and it is so well written. Good job.
Good premise here. Great subject matter. I felt a bit lost when reading. Perhaps a little more showing of what Jane sees (scenery, engage all the senses) will help engage the reader.
Lots of great suspense and tension in this story--well done!

Other than the title, I really don't see a connection to the topic of 'editor'. The stretch of dialogue in the middle was confusing--perhaps separating Jane's speech snippets with ellipses rather than quotation marks would make it clearer that the reader is only hearing her part of the conversation.

I applaud you for tackling a difficult and important issue, and in an unflinching manner.