The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/04/10
Creatively and interestingly written story. You tied an important issue with the topic. I enjoyed it.
06/04/10
Engaging story with a timely message. Reading the story I noticed a lot of comma and re-working some of the sentences would make this even more powerful. Very good job.
06/04/10
What a mighty God we serve!
06/06/10
What a beautiful story and your title was frosting on the cake. Superbly written. Thank you and God bless.
06/07/10
This is an important message for so many, and it is so well written. Good job.
06/07/10
Good premise here. Great subject matter. I felt a bit lost when reading. Perhaps a little more showing of what Jane sees (scenery, engage all the senses) will help engage the reader.
06/08/10
Lots of great suspense and tension in this story--well done!

Other than the title, I really don't see a connection to the topic of 'editor'. The stretch of dialogue in the middle was confusing--perhaps separating Jane's speech snippets with ellipses rather than quotation marks would make it clearer that the reader is only hearing her part of the conversation.

I applaud you for tackling a difficult and important issue, and in an unflinching manner.