The Official Writing Challenge
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Indeed, who are we to change God's work? I liked this a lot. I just have one small suggestion. It's something someone passed on to me, so I'll pass it on to you. Watch out for unnecessary words or phrases. They trip up the rhythm of the story. I don't mean descriptions, but rather things that don't need to be said because they're implied. Ex. The very nature of turning on a flashlight would imply you had it with you, and you probably wouldn't need to state that you had the it with you. This is something I struggle with, and I have to work when I proofread to think, "Do I really need this or is it understood?"
06/06/10
Lovely descriptions, and what a neat premise. Nicely done
I love how you gave God the glory for the notes to your song. God is amazing. Ejoyable story. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
06/07/10
Great job. Beautiful descriptions and so clever!
God Bless.
06/08/10
I really like the idea of music written on the sky.

Your first sentence is a bit cumbersome, and I found this to be rather light on the topic; it's almost an afterthought.

You're a good writer; I'd encourage you to use your full 750 words.