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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Editor (05/27/10)

TITLE: Revamping David
By Sharon Eastman
06/01/10


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Revamping David

I finished up my manuscript
And sent it in a hurry
To my favorite magazine;
I didn’t have a worry.

It only took six long months
To get it back to me.
I opened up the envelope
With haste yet carefully.

In it was a letter
Said I had a publish day.
It was because the editor
Made marks that caused delay.

As I read the copy,
I didn’t know what to do.
Many marks of black and red
Made me feel sad and blue.

He wrote that the plot
Had too many twists
And wrote love and battles
Would never be missed.

He emasculated
My heroic man
And made him a sissy,
Who’d not take a stand.

My settings were long,
Too lovely and lush,
And he ruined my story
With the flick of a brush.

My David turned feeble –
Bath Sheba – a witch.
It’s not like the Bible;
It’s a total switch.

The editor made such a mess
Of my story.
I pondered his changes –
It lost all its glory.

My masterpiece
By this “sages” advice
Turned it to a “messterpiece”
Cut slice by slice.

Then I threw up my hands
To the dusty air
And wrote him a note
Saying, “This I declare.”

“I’ll sell my story
To some other rag.”
And, I threw his letter
Into a trash bag!

So I grabbed a folder;
Put my story away
Then I sent it out
The very next day.


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This article has been read 279 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Elizabeth Cain06/03/10
I liked the beat of this story. One of my favorite parts was when the 'masterpiece' was turned into a 'messterpiece'. Very clever. I'm glad the MC didn't give up and tried again to get his story published.
Dusti (Bramlage) Zarse06/04/10
This was really cute. Thank you for making me smile.
Mildred Sheldon06/06/10
This made me smile. I loved messterpiece. Very ingeneous and well written. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
Susan Montaperto06/07/10
I also enjoyed "messterpiece." The story made me smile. I'm glad that your MC did not give up. Keep writing.
Jan Ackerson 06/08/10
Hooray for persistence!

I found the meter of this poem a tad inconsistent.

The narrative is charming, and I enjoyed this read.