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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bon Voyage (09/05/05)

TITLE: Today's Race
By Dorothy Purge
09/09/05


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Today’s Race


Bon Voyage is the clear favourite in today’s race.

He is looking well groomed coming from the Thoroughdead Stables. He appears very sturdy, very fit indeed. As usual, his feet are cold and icy. This breed of Stallions does not go extinct and adapts well to any climate. Bon Voyage is the most mysterious, internationally famous horse and has won numberless races. He brings much needed rest to the weary and does not discriminate against whom the rider should be: No, there is no discrimination against gender, age, colour or creed. Many of our ancestors rode on this horse.


It’s a few minutes to post time. Bon Voyage creeps up to the old servant girl, Victoria, who mounts him and sits comfortably in the saddle. Victoria is well above three score and ten: She has 87 years to her advantage. Though she appears not to have a lot of outer strength left, she still seems well composed and ready to begin her journey. I can see the brightness on Victoria’s face – just like a thousand beautifully lit chandeliers as she appears confident to win today’s grand prize - a Crown of Life. Indeed the stakes are high !

Bon Voyage raises his head and snorts the somewhat mixed air. How confident Victoria looks sitting in the saddle! It’s as if the saddle was made for her. She has had a long history of gospel work and boasts of a record of helping people to acquire soul insurance. She always says, “this insurance is not about mortality, it’s about life everlasting and do not wait until there is an emergency to acquire it. You will need it to enjoy a Home Sweet Home”.

Victoria has been a faithful servant of the Redeemer. She is well attired in her trendy three-in-one apparel that is, a shield, a breastplate and an armour of righteousness, just the right gears for a safe journey.

Only a few seconds to post time and Victoria holds firmly on the reins of Bon Voyage.
I am watching her keenly and I know that she is repeating her favourite Bible verse: Psalm 27, verse 1 “ The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear”? (New KJV). Victoria is never afraid of anything and now she is not afraid of riding Bon Voyage.

“Forgive her of her sins and let peace reign within her”, is my prayer for her.

It’s now noon day, the gates are open and they are off !

The first to emerge is Bon Voyage. He makes a good break and takes up the lead.
Coming forward to join Bon Voyage is Tic-Tac – a very old stallion, otherwise known as the Master of Time. Then follows Confession, Sickness, then Temptation. Youth is a non-starter in this race.

Still in the lead is Bon Voyage. Behind is Tic-tac coming down the middle of the track
Stepping forward from Sickness is Temptation. But it’s still Bon Voyage galloping away in first position. As they come to the bend Temptation tries to interfere terribly with Bon Voyage but Bon Voyage picks up speed leaving the others as they bunch together. But it’s Bon Voyage on top! Tic-Tac follows at his heels. Temptation stumbles down the track and is out of the race. He seems to be badly hurt.

It’s Bon Voyage and Tic-Tac followed by Confession, then Sickness. As they race towards the final breaths it is Bon Voyage and Tic-Tac. Yes, Bon Voyage is swiftly slipping away from Tic-Tac. Confession races ahead and tries to pick up speed followed by the back marker, Sickness. But it’s Bon Voyage in the lead galloping towards the final mark – the dead end.

“Ride on dear mother, ride on”, I whisper.

As they come towards the final breaths, it is Bon Voyage on top! Tic-Tac is at his heels, and so is Confession. These two are racing together neck and neck. But there is no stopping now for Bon Voyage! As the horses race towards the finishing post it’s Bon Voyage ! Yes it’s Bon Voyage, the death horse, that wins it as Victoria smiles and takes her last breath.


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Member Comments
Member Date
B Brenton09/13/05
I love the idea. You brilliant pioneer you! But why is Confession in the race? I don't get the metaphor here, if indeed there is one. Please explain as soon as you can (I'm on the msg boards...)
Jan Ackerson 09/13/05
Wow! What a great allegory! Very creative thinking.
sandra snider09/14/05
well written. very unique approach to writing. I think you are ready for next level of writing challenge!
Linda Watson Owen09/18/05
Looks like a winner to me in more ways than one! Haha! I really enjoyed reading this creative piece!
Deborah Porter 09/21/05
Dorothy, I have to tell you, I was acting as a Level 1 judge for Bon Voyage, and your entry rated very highly with me. It was a treat of a read and I thought it was wonderful. I think it was probably one of the most "out of the box" entries I've ever come across and I predict a very big future for you in the Challenge if you continue to enter. With creativity and imagination like that you'll go far. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)