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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Writer's Life (05/13/10)

TITLE: Escape to the Country
By Charlotte Maccallum
05/19/10


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Rush hour was driving Bryon crazy. Everyday of the working week at half past four he would hear the endless line of cars and the continual sound of trains running past the city block he was staying in with his young family. All acting as an alarm warning him of his family’s soon return.

Today Bryon had only written four pages, again falling short if the six he had planed. With all the banking and Sam’s ballet lesson at three it had been impossible to find the smooth working rhythm which Bryon thieved on.

“Daddy, guess what mom did today?” The arrival of five year old Sam meant two hours before Bryon could write any further and although he adored Sam and treasured his time with her. He really needed to get this book finished.

“What did mom do today Cupcake?” Bryon span around to see his young daughter dressed in her pink leotard and tote waiting to run into his arms.

“After ballet we went to the shops and mom brought the biggest tub of ice-cream for my party.”

“Wow, mom the bestest isn’t she?”

“Yes, daddy she is!”

“Well, why don’t you go get cleaned up and we can make super together?”

“Alright”, said Sam as she skipped off to wash her hands.

Bryon turns to his wife, Mary “Honey, I’m never going to get this book done here. I think I’m going to have to go stay on Graeme’s farm for a while.”

“Do you have too? Can’t you just find some time for the family?” Mary pleaded.

“No Honey, not with all the distractions I have. The kids will be on holiday soon and that will be my time gone.” Bryon replied. “Well maybe we can all go. If you need to you can sit in the study, the kids and I can find ways of entertaining ourselves.”

“Are you sure? Jessica’s just seven weeks old?” Mary asked.

“It’s just an hour in the car. I’m sure she’ll sleep through. It will be good for us to get away for a few days.” Bryon tries anything to get away.

“Well ok. I suppose it will be go to get away for awhile. It will be good to get away for a while.” Mary replied. “Perhaps we could spend a few days with you up there, but only for the school holiday. I don’t want Jessica missing school or ballet. ”

“Of cause I’ll make plans tomorrow. Now I must go make supper.” Bryon loved making supper each night with Sam it was the one time in the day that nothing would come between them.

“Sure, and just while we’re on the subject, don’t forget we’ve got that dinner after work with my boss tomorrow.” Mary says as she sits down after her busy day.

“Oh yes, I’m looking forward to that. Where are we going again?”

“To the Chinese Restaurant next to the Hypermarket.”

“Uh yes, good place that. Who’s taking the kids?” Bryon asks drifting away from his desk. Leaving it to be tidied in the morning when he finds his pen has moved from his sight.

“My mom is coming round.”

“Great. One night just you and me, it can only be good.”


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This article has been read 265 times
Member Comments
Member Date
AnneRene' Capp 05/20/10
You put this so well: impossible to find the smooth working rhythm. Yes, something every writer needs, not to mention the luxury of getting away to the country. You've got me daydreaming! Also, very nice touch having Dad making dinner with his daughter. Put a smile in my heart.

If you haven't already...check out the free writing classes in the forums under "writing". Jan and Ann's lessons are invaluable and have helped me tremendously.

AnneRene' Capp 05/20/10
OOPS...forgot to stop the italics after your phrase. (smile)
Yvonne Blake 05/24/10
Ohhh... A cabin in the country sounds like a great place to write. I would have liked a description of it. Don't forget to put commas around the name of the person being spoken to. Nice use of dialogue.
Mildred Sheldon05/24/10
The dream of all writers is escape to a quiet solitary place where they can put their thoughts down without interruption. Very well written. Good job and God bless.
Dusti (Bramlage) Zarse05/24/10
A cottage in the country sounds absolutely heavenly! Sign me up! Haha. Great job of showing the difficulty of balancing family and writing. There are never enough hours in the day, that's for sure. My only critique? Watch your verb tenses. You hopped back and forth between past and present tense a bit, but overall, great job! Keep writing!