The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a nice read, but I'll share with you advice I received on my first entry a few weeks ago: Make it more interesting for the reader by not starting so many sentences with "she". Maybe mention her name a little earlier to help the reader know her better and make her seem the important friend that she was.







09/13/05
Since it's true - what else can I say but bless you for sharing. Bless you for being so honest and forthcoming. Bless you for this story and your faith in God. Thank you, love and God bless.
09/13/05
This was very touching. Be careful of capitalizing non-proper nouns. As the sister of a Down's Syndrome young man, I really appreciated this true story.
09/14/05
riveting retelling of a wonderful story, orchestrated by God alone. These are the kind of stories that Christian writers need to write about more.
True stories hit straight at the heart, and I loved this. A little grammatical work needed, but otherwise, it's great! Thank you so much for sharing.
09/14/05
You've packed a lot within the confines of the word limit. Your story is heartwarming and flows logically. If you do go ahead and work this into a book, autobiography or faction (fiction and fact)to keep the reader's interest you will need to find the drama in the story and show us what is happening rather than tell us.
09/16/05
Bless you for your faith, and your witness!
As a longer piece, it will be easier to use some more show and less tell. A few snippets of conversation to show how Kathryn's reactions to you at first were nurse/patient, and then curious, intrigued, committed, friend, sister in Christ. These moments of interaction will show us and draw us in. You told it very well, but the action will give us more drama. Well done, God Bless, Karen
09/21/05
Pam, this was very sweet and it rated quite well with the Level 1 Judges (coming in at 9th place in the Level 1 rankings). So give yourself a pat on the back. You are learning and growing all the time, and that's always wonderful to see. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)