Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Writer's Life (05/13/10)
TITLE: Under Construction
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Immediately, God began to teach me, break me down, and reconstruct me. On day one I realized that He was taking no prisoners. I was made to look at sin I had buried under years of guilt, rediscover my part in the dissolution of my marriage, and was finally made to understand that I am nothing and He is everything. I was introduced to His standard for His daughters, made aware of what a Godly man truly is and what I should wait for, and was instilled with a profound disgust for any sexual immorality. People from my past who I still held bitterness towards began showing up in various ways, and I knew that this was part of God’s plan for me. He even brought me face to face with the man who assaulted me ten years ago to teach me what it truly means to forgive.
Every time I wrote, I sent my writings through email to everyone on my contact list. One of the reasons I did this was to be held accountable. The other reason I did this was to witness that I, a sinner of the worst sort, could be forgiven, loved, and made anew. What I didn’t expect was the negative response I would get from a few who I thought were closest to me. My closest friend for the past fifteen years no longer speaks to me. She bluntly asked me to stop sending her my “Jesus notes” and that she was saddened at the person she was seeing me become. It’s amazing how the heart changes to become more like God’s the closer you are to Him. When I read her letter I felt my heart break, but it was breaking for her, not for me. I knew at that moment that I was feeling what God feels when one of us turns from Him. I pray for her nightly, and I chose to take her response as a sign that I was on the right track. “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.” Matthew 5:10.
My ninety day construction period has ended, but God is still actively working in my life. I never knew I could change in so many ways. God gave me the strength to quit drinking. He convicted me of my sins and gave me his heart and desire for purity. I am a better mother, daughter, woman, and can delight in being called a Christian. I was on a one-way road straight to where I don’t want to go and through God’s grace I have been set free.
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