The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/12/05
Nicely done.
09/13/05
A little cornball - but it's all good!
09/13/05
A precious love story! Strive for more balance between dialog and description.
09/14/05
I agree with the above: strive for more balance between dialogue and description. A little more work, a little more refinement, and your writing will be ready for the next level!
Sweet story. Would like to see more description here, and less dialogue. Thanks for sharing!
Lovely story. I enjoyed it. Thanks so much for sharing.
09/15/05
I think the dialogue tells me everything I need to know about this couple. No names and minimal descriptions give it an 'Everyman' feel. This could be the experience of any one of thousands of couples around the world. Well done. Yeggy
09/16/05
Tears pricking again...I liked the jumpr from the end of the note to her and back to him, tied it all together well. God Bless, Karen
Well done! Touching story--reminds us of the sacrafice that not only those in the military, but their families, too, give everyday.
09/17/05
What a perfect love story. Well done.
09/17/05
Nice take on the topic, a bit sappy but well written
09/18/05
OK, it's sappy ... but I wouldn't call it a flop! Don't be so hard on yourself! lol! I would have liked a little bit more setting to put your couple into. Good work!
Touching and sweet, but I agree that there needs to be more balance between dialogue and description. Congratulations on the commendation. God bless.
09/21/05
Lauren, I know this was soppy and all that, but it just goes to show that there is room for all varieties of writing. As far as I was concerned, the theme of "bon voyage" suited "soppy" just perfectly. It was a little repetitive with some of the dialogue in parts, but overall it was one of those stories that bless the heart. It's also greate to see you trying different things each week. You are definitely heading in the "write" direction. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)