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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Critique/Review (for writers) (05/06/10)

TITLE: Rejection Letter
By Charlotte Maccallum
05/12/10


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“So open it already” Stuart’s excitement had boiled over. He had been waiting months for his friend, Stuart’s article to be published in the varsity magazine Student Life.

“Alright just give me a chance ok.” Richard began to feel quiet claustrophobic with Stuart peering over his left shoulder. “It’s just an acceptance to a student magazine, relax already.”

“Hey man, nothing like is big ever happens to guys like us. Come on open it.” Stuart brushes off any of Richard’s negativity and continues to pester him. “Today is the day everything changes for you. Think of my name up there in lights ‘Richard Lane the man who saved the penguin from certain extinction.”

“Yeh man, take it easy it’s just one article. Just one step long journey. You’re going to drive me bonkers if you act like this every time I get a letter from an editor. ”

“Ok man, I’ll chill. Now open it please.” Stuart begins to show irritation.

“This is it.” Richard remained silent while he torn open the envelope and read the letter inside.

13 February 2010

Dear Mr. Lane

We regret to inform you that your summation to Student Life March 2010 has been rejected.

While your article, Save the Penguin, was most informative and beautifully written. We felt that it was not right for our magazine. We found it to be too formal. Student Life is designed for enjoyment, a break from the formality of lectures.

Thank you for your submission, we do look forward to receiving articles from you in the future.

Yours sincerely
Tomas Smith
Editor of Student Life
Cape University

“Man” Richard sighed. “Today is not that day” he looks out the window trying to void conversation.

“What you mean dude?” Stuart asked with concern, “You got in right? That piece was brilliant, with all thoughts facts you added. They should give you a regular column. ”

“Na man didn’t get in, too formal for them.” Richard replies unsuccessfully pretending not to care.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll find the right place.” Stuart tries his best but Richard’s disappointment is not lifted.

Richard sighed again, “Meanwhile the penguins continue to die.”

“Hey man, you did your best. Now come on the game will be over before we get there.” Stuart never one for sulking becomes agitated.

“Nah, you go. I’m gona go home and study for the bio test next Friday.” Richard replies ducking head in shame. How could he face everyone tonight what if they know what had happened?

“Come on man you’ll ace it you always do. Besides there’s only three formulas to learn.”

“Well, if you say so suppose I can come for awhile.”

“Man, lighten up a little they’re just critiques, what do they know.”

“Um, like everything. This could have been my big chance. You know like a real proper article in the public eye.”

“Dud seriously, it’s just a uni mag. And you’re nineteen you need to let it go. You’ve your whole life ahead of you”

“Well maybe you’re right, maybe this just wasn’t the publication for me. Besides I’ve been looking forward to that game for weeks.”

“There’s the sprit, your gona thank me for this later you know.”

“Yeh, yeh. Now did you book the table? I’m starving.”


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Sara Harricharan 05/13/10
Not a bad story--I liked the interaction between Richard and Stuart. They seem like really good friends!

The slang tripped me up just a bit--though I use it myself on a fairly regular basis, lol. But it was all right.

Just a note--when you have lines like "Stuart begins to feel agitated" don't "tell" but "show" instead, show Stuart scratching a non-existent beard or strangling a throw pillow in his hands--it helps to round out his character more.

Good job-keep it up!
AnneRene' Capp 05/13/10
Really like how you showed the rejection letter instead of Richard just telling of how he was rejected. It made me experience Richard's rejection right along side of him. Good dialogue also.
Mildred Sheldon05/16/10
Great job putting your feelings into this. I could just about feel his pain. Thanks and God bless.
Dusti (Bramlage) Zarse05/21/10
I liked this story. I felt the characters were real, and the interaction between them was believable. Couple things, though. Try to stick to one tense. Sometimes your story is present tense, and sometimes it's past tense. Pick one and stick with it through the whole story. Also, watch punctuation. There were some comma/period issues, but I sincerely enjoyed the story. Keep writing!