The Official Writing Challenge
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Awesome story and even better ending! Double Kudos!!
05/13/10
Poor Ben! I'm glad it had a happy ending, though the last line was a tad predictable for me. I think the example of showing what meeting Chris did for him, didn't need to be explained--lol, but that's just my opinion.

This was a good read--I like that Ben was able to stand up and ask questions, instead of backing away as the 'light turned green'. Nice details in there!
05/16/10
Hi, I enjoyed reading this story. It was engaging and evoked alot of thoughts in me, like would Ben actually get anywhere by talking to Chris' father, was Mr. Withers lying.

When you said that last line, I was like ohhhh! Interesting Analogy.
WOW! Loved your story. Getting to the Father through the Son. Good job.
First Timothy, this is your first entry! well done.
Found it! Cool clue by the way.

I may sound weird, but I liked Withers a lot. He's just the sort of snooty villain who needs a shock like that.

And I liked your writing style. I do agree that some things are better shown, not told, but finding the fine balance between them is hard. You did a great job for your first entry.

And I LOVED the Don't Walk sign description. It reminded me of myself. ;)
I loved the punchline! What a great reminder for all of us!
Congratulations! I knew this was a good story. :D
I admired Ben. Asking for feedback is rough, especially from a man like Withers. Congratulations on your first place finish!
05/22/10
Creative ending!
05/25/10
You left me from tears to joy! I felt so bad for the person who was trying so hard. What a blessing! Getting to the Father through the Son. Great job!
05/25/10
How encouraging for you to place first with your first entry. Keep writing--this was great.