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Maria was leaning against the couch armrest, an open envelope in hand and a pile of papers on her lap. She pulled the letter from the envelope and read it again. They were going to publish her novel. She was so close to achieving her goal now, why did she feel so confused. She folded the letter up again and slipped it back in the envelope. She should be overjoyed, but she wasn’t. A tear fell from her cheek, wetting the manuscript on her lap. She glared down at the papers of her first novel. In a fit of rage she hurled the pages over the back of the couch, hot tears running down her face. She threw herself onto the decorative pillows, wetting them with her tears. Her heart was in turmoil. She needed answers. An old dusty book that stood on her bookshelf caught her eye. She stumbled toward the shelf, her vision blurred with tears. She pulled the book from its place, causing the other books to fall against shelf’s side. She blinked a few times to clear her eyes as she brushed the dust off the old Bible. She leafed carefully through it until one of the verses caught her eyes. She wiped a fresh tear from her eye as she read the verse again. She let herself sink to the floor. Her heart was torn; she’d spent three long years writing that novel, but now she realized she couldn’t publish it without it harming her testimony. She desperately asked God for wisdom, strength, and guidance.
Maria was awakened when she heard the phone ringing. She stood shakily to her feet, wiping her tear stained cheeks with the back of her sleeve.
“Hello?” Her voice cracked as she spoke into the speaker.
“Good evening Maria, this is Amelia.” The cheery voice of her editor responded, “I just wanted to let you know that I have the papers for you to sign at the office. Do you want to come over now, or shall I hold on to them?”
“Amy, I don’t… I just...I don’t feel at ease about publishing my book.”
“What?!” Amy sounded shocked, “You have the makings of a best-seller on your hands! If you are worried that your writing needs to be polished—”
“It’s not the writing, it’s the story.”
“The story is amazing! What could you possibly not like about it?”
“It doesn’t correspond with my beliefs. I am a Christian, but I doubt you could tell by reading my story.”
“Maria,” Amelia said gently, “A writer’s job isn’t to share beliefs, but to tell a story. And the story you have is one of the best I’ve ever read.”
“All writers have a set of personal beliefs they follow, and they naturally portray that in their writing. I was wrong in thinking my writing didn’t have to match what I believed. I’m sorry Amy; I just can’t publish that story.”
“Are you absolutely sure about this? I mean, you once told me how much being an author meant to you. Are you really willing to let this opportunity pass you by?”
Maria had to hold back the tears. “I am positive. As much as I’d like to see my name on a cover, I’d rather have my name forgotten than preserved on a book that displeases God and pollutes my testimony.”
Amy sighed, “I think you are making a mistake, but if I can’t convince you otherwise I guess there is nothing left to say. I wish you luck with your writing, though. You have skill; don’t let that go to waste as well.”
“Thanks, Amy. I wish you the best too.”
Maria felt the tears run down her face as she hung up, but she felt a huge weight lifted from her heart. A smile spread across her face and she felt at peace. She went to her writing desk and after laying her Bible down she opened a new word document. Her fingers darted across the keyboard, her eyes transfixed to the screen as she made a second attempt at being an author. She paused and glanced over at the open Bible, reading the fifth chapter of Ephesians again. Simple and short as it was, the fourth verse stuck out to her the most. It read: “Obscene stories, foolish talk, and course jokes—these are not for you. Instead let there be thankfulness to God.”
(I used the NLT Bible for verse reference)
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