The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/07/10
Oh, I'd love to go to Hawaii some day!

I'm not sure how on-topic this is--it's really more of a transcript or travelogue than a manuscript. I'd love to read a whole story based on some of those incidents, though!
Loved this and the great added humor of ROTIC and half naked men. You did a great job with your descriptions. What a treat for those who have not yet been there.
It sounds like great fun! Made me want to go visit.
Thank you for this travelogue on Hawaii. I would love to visit Hawaii. I enjoyed this very much. Keep writing and God bless.
05/08/10
I liked this! I think I would enjoy having a cup of coffee next to you, while you tell one of these stories. You have a stealth-bomber sort of sense of humor, you know, the kind you don't see coming, then wham!

I liked how you made the equasion in paragraph two, excitement plus discomfort equals lengthening perception of time. I also liked 'Sandy Beach...a misnomer...' and, 'museum (had) interesting artifacts and no air circulation'.

It's the sort of grouping, or coupling of opposites, which I found incredibly amusing, and which I enjoyed so much.
05/08/10
Oh, and I loved the title!
05/10/10
This was very fun to read. I liked the unusual format and loved the little dashes of humour - eg. flirting (is this autobiographical Barb?) You did well at capturing the excitement and joy of the trip.
Ms. barbie, I found you. Makes me want to visit Hawaii....sigh.... good job.
05/10/10
Such a descriptive piece, it made me homesick (I lived in Hawaii for 18 years). I smelled the ocean, the foliage, yes the fragrant leis, and although you didn't mention it, the coconut scent of suntan lotion which always mingles with the beach scents. Ah yes, Aloha!
05/11/10
Barb, thanks for allowing us to journey with you. I've never been to Hawaii, but could imagine all the splendor from your creative writing.
05/11/10
Sounds like an interesting trip. I liked the thought of Hawaiian music playing in the background as the journal is recorded.
What a fun trip. I hope someday to follow in your footsteps.
Hey Barb, have you thought of offering your services to travelogue magazines? Seriously? You have a gift for bringing a place to life in a humerous way. I enjoyed this.
05/11/10
Spent 10 days on Oahu just a couple of months ago. I was with you all the way, and this trip was a LOT cheaper. Thanks for the memories. Great descriptions! Hope Grandma enjoyed it as much as I did.
Thanks for the entertaining vignettes. I agree that each one could be expanded into a story of its own - a book I'm sure I'd enjoy reading.
05/12/10
Okay, I'm ready for vacation now! You really made me want to visit these places... I agree that you could be a travel writer. I enjoyed this!
This is such a delight to read. Your way with words makes me feel welcomed into your story- like you are personally inviting me to go on this journey with you.