The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/12/05
I loved this! Very nice writing!
09/12/05
Well handled (wiping a touch of moisture from my own eyes). Blessings
Al
I really enjoyed your story. The only thing I would suggest is changing the woding about being 60 years ago. Maybe try: "Three months later, with Maria..." and then start next paragraph with: "Now, sixty years later, it was her turn." Otherwise, very well written.
09/12/05
Very sweet story--you can't go wrong with long-lasting love! Try to avoid over-used phrases. Michael and Maria will have a wonderful reunion!
09/13/05
You used the topic and you wrapped it up in a neat little bundle with love and care.
Predictable - but who ever said that was a bad thing?
09/13/05
This is really good! I agree that the transition was a little abrupt. I really liked your first scene though, very well written. The tears were pricking my eyes at the end - great job!

God Bless, Karen
09/14/05
a couple of things: he left the larger portion behind with his wife, he took the smaller portion...does that refer to the 2 children they had? the end was a little too obtuse/vague for me. I take it she was dying? Maybe she was hallucinating? Suffering from Alzeimer's? Just wasn't clear enough for me. But in general, the story does a great job of pulling on the heart strings!
A little romance always brightens my day and touches my heart, and this did both. Lovely. Congratualations.
Congratulations on placing in the winner's circle. Well written and lovely. God Bless.
09/21/05
Larry, you are definitely going from strength to strength. This was quite lovely and had me reaching for the tissues. Yes, it was a bit predictable, but who cares? It was a heart warmer.

Now there's also something else you should know. You not only came 3rd in the Level 1 awards (what a week of competition that was!) but you also nearly made it into the Editors' Choice. You missed by a hair, placing 9th overall (that's across all three levels). Well done Larry, and with that, I really think it's time for you to move up to Level 2. Looking forward to reading more of your work. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)