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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Writer’s Skill/Craft (04/22/10)

TITLE: The Unwanted Job
By pamela ewell


He had done it a thousand times.Why was the screen blank now? He stared at the PDA confused at his inability to type the same words he had engraved in his mind.

"We regret to in inform you... lost his life for the Cause."

"Jones, put that PDA down! Come to mess before the next wave of bodies come in. Boy, you got to eat."

"Yes sir, just one more and I'll be there, just want to finish this one up."

"Ok, Jones, but hurry up. Word is the last battle was really bad and we are going to be up all night sending the death notices."

What's new about that, Jones thought. Since all the world had woke up to find millions missings, the Army of Faith had fought to spread the Word of God. Everyday since hundreds sometimes thousands had lost their battle in the the resistance against the one who called himself," The New Christ".

It was his job to notify families, if he could find any left , that their loved one had been killed for what they now called, "The Cause."

The Cause was a group that spanded world wide, who had found peace and salvation through the real Jesus Christ, from reading the Bibles those missing had left.

For some reason today he was having a hard time typing the words. It seemed so useless , even unnecessary. Surely if they were part of "The Cause" the families would know they were going to end up dead.

He believed in "The Cause" and he loved Jesus Christ, but felt his task was not significant enough. He wanted to go to battle like the people he wrote notifications on everyday.

If it wasn't for this stupid wheelchair, he could show his Lord how much he wanted to spread the Word. Instead he was stuck here writing letters on his PDA.

Out of frustration, he began to pray, "God, I believe in you as much as they do. I want to tell others about Jesus, but this chair keeps me here. Why can't I tell others that they are being deceived and that your son, Jesus Christ , is "the way, the truth, and the light."?

"Jones, are you coming or not?, the captain shouted, "Get those wheels moving! We have a job to do!"

"Yes sir, almost done." he replied as a new smile brightened his face.

I have a job he thought with new realization. A job given to me by God. So he turned to his PDA and wrote.

" It is with great honor that I inform you that your son fought.. "against princapalities, against powers , against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spirtual wickedness in high places"... and took his place in heaven today with Jesus Christ our Lord."

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This article has been read 344 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Yvonne Blake 04/29/10
Interesting setting and characters! I would like to have seen a little more. Well done!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/30/10
This is powerful, scary but reassuring at the same time. The setting was original. I'd have enjoyed knowing more.

In the last paragraph you don't need to put new quotes around each part between the... You just need them at the beginning and the end.

You did a great job with a topic that must have been difficult to picture your MC being left behind. Thank you for the courage and wisdom your characters had.
Caitlyn Meissner05/02/10
Wow. What an interesting and difficult setting for a short story. Yes, it might have been nice to see more into your character's lives, but I really liked what you did show us. Nice job.
Phee Paradise 05/02/10
I love the way your beginning seemed part of our current experience and then you twisted it into something much more interesting.

I saw a few typos, but a little more proof reading will catch those.

You also did a good job of resolving things for the MC at the end.
Jan Ackerson 05/03/10
I've read lots of post-rapture stories, but this one is unique.

There were several spelling errors and other little oopses that need to be tidied up to give this piece the impact it should have...and I'm having a hard time finding this week's topic here.

LOVE that your main character is in a wheelchair--how creative!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/06/10
Congratulations in placing in the top 10 in your level.