The Official Writing Challenge
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You did a good job portraying the opposition people have to the Bible (and the gospel)--at times it seems so illogical, but that is probably because we already know how sweet it actually is! Oh that none should perish!
04/25/10
If you had been able to expand this story a bit more it would have been excellent. It was GOOD! You developed it well, with a calm and soothing ending. I'm not sure how the title fits the story, but it WAS intriguing, and made me want to read on. You don't belong in the "Beginners" category. (This, meant to be a compliment!)..Good for you...Helen
You did a good job portraying everything that happened in the story. I really could see what was going on. I'm glad it had a happy ending. ;)
Wow this is a powerful story. I admire the fact that the one friend never gave up but persevered The knowledge that his friend came to know Jesus before his death had to be the greatest gift one could ever receive. May god bless you and give you strength as you travel the road of grief.
04/28/10
You told a good story with a strong message. I think I would have liked to have seen a transition from the fair to the hospital, instead of two completely different scenes.

Your dialogue was great and I could really picture the two old men.
04/28/10
I'm with Shann on this one. I really admire the friend who never gave up.

Isaiah 55:11:
"So shall My word be that goes forth out of My mouth; it shall not return to Me void--without producing any effect, useless--but it shall accomplish that which I please and purpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

May God's words comfort you and His arms hold you in your grief.
04/28/10
Well thought out story and nicely written. May God bring you peace in the midst of your grief.
04/28/10
You have a clear, crisp way of putting your thoughts into story form. You will do well in the challenges. Keep up the good work.
Actually, I liked the title a lot, feeling like it symbolized the determination of your MC, Henry, to both be independent of devices and people; as well as his steadfast rejection of becoming dependent on God. I liked Henry from the start. You did a very good job with characterizations and description.