The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/22/10
I thought you pulled the reader in with gentle ease.

It wasn't until the third paragraph that i realized who you were speaking of.

I was hoping that someone would choose this biblical story to write about.
I'm glad now that i chose not to. Nicely done.
Very good message! I love how you tied Christ in as "the Reader". I didn't realize who you were talking about either till he started to read.

Two suggestions, though. The article might look better if you indent your paragraphs, or even put a space between them. Also, don't forget to reference exactly where your scripture verses come from.

Great job. :)
04/27/10
It also took me a while to figure out who "the reader" was - very well done! Really like your last paragraph too.
And thank you for looking at my article. It's nice to get feedback. Keep up the good work!